Sometimes families answer the call to adoption and wonder where they specifically should go as they want to meet the greatest need. I think this is an awesome question, and one that actually guided my husband and me when we were exploring adoption in 2010. We looked at options but then also wrestled with our own abilities, means, and flexibility. We also knew that adopting children meant being willing to walk with them in their story, meeting their own needs and being willing to accommodate them in their transition into our home- so each type of adoption would have different needs and flexibility requirements as adoptive parents.
At CAC, we have created an Adoption Pathways (LINK) breakdown to help you explore the nuance between different types of adoption (domestic private adoption, foster care, embryo adoption, and international adoption). Today I’d like to explore what an impact Christians specifically can have in each of those places:
- Foster Care: Although CAC is unable to support families walking through foster care due to the unique systems of each county, we have families who choose to pivot to foster care for various reasons. The need is great; there will always be waiting children (especially sibling groups) who need Christian families to open their homes. The primary goal of foster care is reunification with biological families, so Christian families can honor these birth families, help with transportation, love on these kiddos while they are in your care, and show flexibility, grace, and patience to kids who are stuck in a system they didn’t ask for.
- Domestic Adoption: This is the most common option for families to choose when exploring adoption as a means to growing their families. Therefore, all types of families choose this path. Some families question whether, with so many waiting families, more options are needed. I would argue that YES, we need Christian options for expectant moms to consider, and Christian families to say yes to all that comes with parenting children who come to families through adoption. When Christians step into this space, they are not just welcoming a child into their family. They are also offering to care for the birth parents they are matched with and honor their word with future plans and even have the opportunity to minister to the (often overworked) staff members they interact with. When Christians have the posture of trusting that God is writing a bigger story, and that God is the author of redemption and sovereign in placing children in homes, then they are free to trust the Lord in providing for their families’ needs, but also to release the grasp of perceived control that many adoptive families cling to. Think about what a difference in the type of client this would be, or the way adoptive families would interact with birth parents, or how they would teach their children about their story.
- International Adoption: International adoption requires great flexibility, humility, and openness to children who may have fewer options because of their age, location, or “special needs.” For Christian families considering international adoption, this means being willing to step into the unknown and make room for a child who may need more time, patience, and support than we initially imagined. When a child comes home, families may need to stop what they are doing and make welcoming that child into the family their priority. International Adoption requires meeting our children where they are, learning to understand what they have experienced, and creating space for healing, trust, and attachment to grow over time. As believers, we have an opportunity to advocate for waiting children and affirm the innate value and dignity God has already placed within them. Many of these children may otherwise remain in institutional care, waiting for a family to say yes…not because we can save them (we can’t), but because we can choose to walk alongside them.
- Embryo Adoption. There will always be more waiting embryos than families willing to say yes. As Christians who believe that embryos are created in God’s image, we are advocating for Christians to mirror the gospel by laying down their bodies, paying the ransom fees, and being willing to trust the Lord with the rest. There are two outcomes in embryo adoption: the first is what families hope for: that children are born and join the family after being rescued from the freezer. The second option is that the transfer is unsuccessful, or the embryos do not survive. I want to challenge that both of these outcomes are redemptive. When a Christian family says yes to rescuing embryos from indefinite storage in the freezer, they are giving them an opportunity to live in a family that will teach them about the Lord, or they will bring those children to the arms of their Heavenly Father. Both options come at great cost – physically, emotionally, and financially. Christians are needed to step into this space to show the world that these embryos are made in God’s image and worthy of all risk.
As you are reading through these options, I want to challenge you to assess your heart. Does one type of adoption seem to stir you more? Are you more excited (or hesitant) about some options than others? In my own life, I saw that the Lord guided our family through research and wisdom but also through the Holy Spirit’s prompting. I encourage you to schedule a call with one of our CAC consultants to explore your options and what the Lord might be calling you to do as you consider adoption for your family. The need is great in all of these areas, so trust the Lord to guide you specifically to the child or children He has chosen for you.
Saying yes to adoption is not stepping into the role of a savior. It is choosing to lay down our lives, our expectations, and sometimes our own comfort as we learn how to become a family together. It is committing to the long, sometimes difficult work of connection and healing while recognizing that we cannot control the outcome. And ultimately, adoption reminds us of our own limitations. We will not have everything our children need. We will make mistakes. We will need wisdom, patience, strength, and grace beyond what we can manufacture ourselves. As Christian parents, we can enter that work with open hands, relying on our Heavenly Father to meet our needs, give us wisdom and guidance, and faithfully shepherd both the children entrusted to our care and us. The invitation is not to be a hero. It is to be faithful: to see a child’s God-given worth, to make room at our table, and to be willing to walk the path toward healing and family together.
Is Hiring an Adoption Consultant Worth It?
Fundraising and Adoption: Inviting Others Into Your Story
Encouragement For The Waiting Room