Thank you to this Christian Adoption Consultants mama who so beautifully shares today. I’m grateful to know you, Sarah.
To the woman who made me a mother,
When I first heard your name and knew you carried a child for whom you were choosing parents, I didn’t know how to connect my heart to yours. It would have seemed presumptuous or somehow greedy, to ask something of you or to force a bond that wasn’t there yet. I had prayed for a child for so long and, forgive me, I didn’t know how to pray for her first mother.
After we knew your name and knew we would be a family of three because of your courage and selflessness, I began to approach God in prayer — timidly at first, because I couldn’t presume to put myself in your shoes. But as we collectively waited for the birth of our daughter, I fell to my knees again and again, asking God to be near – to be your comforter. You faced circumstances not of your choosing and you faced impossible decisions and you did it — whether you felt brave or not — you did it, courageously. You bore a daughter and you kissed her nose and gave her a name and then gave her a new family, as you chose us to parent her.
I get to go into this weekend celebrating my own motherhood, which was born in tandem with yours. I don’t forget this for a moment. When my little girl looks at me, I see your hazel eyes and scrunchy nose and I am overwhelmed again with gratitude that your choice to make an adoption plan changed all our lives. You are the first mother our daughter loves and, by God’s grace, you are the woman who made me a mother. I don’t know what it’s like to be on your side of this adoption triad, but I am so very thankful for the abundance of love we share for this daughter.
Mother’s Day is as nuanced and complex as motherhood – we both know this. And so in case no one remembers to say it: happy Mother’s Day. We celebrate you today, you who carry the mixed grief and peace of adoption with such grace. We are grateful for your life, your courage, and your selfless love.
With love and gratitude,