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My friend fed my daughter when she couldn’t feed hers

June 9, 2016 By Amy Young

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I still remember the day my friend Sarah asked me, timidly, if I would like to have her breastmilk for my daughter. Her expressions, body language, and voice all told me that this was something she had thought about for a long time and that it was a big brave thing for her to ask me. And I remember feeling the weight of deep sadness and enormous gratitude all at once.

You see, Sarah wasn’t going to be able to use her breastmilk because the baby girl she was carrying wasn’t expected to live very long after birth.

It was July and we had just sent in all the paperwork to adopt?our daughterArsema a few weeks earlier. As we waited for our dates to travel to Ethiopia I began nesting. This particular morning I was replacing the floor in our master bathroom while I waited for Sarah’s text. She was going in for her 20 week ultrasound and I was secretly hoping for the news to come back that she was having a girl. I was dreaming about our daughters being great friends, just like their big brothers are. The text came? girl? but there were complications.

Within the next several hours we knew that the baby girl Sarah was carrying would not be able to live outside of the womb. I?prepared my nursery for the homecoming of my daughter and Sarah planned a funeral. We spent a lot of mornings together crying and talking and even laughing at times. She threw me a baby shower and gave me 2 blankets out of a packet of 4? the other two would be wrapped around her daughter after she was born. I brought Arsema home in early October and a couple weeks later Sarah came to me with the question?

I was wondering if you would like to have my breast milk after Evie is born. I thought maybe you could use it to feed Arsema. I don’t know how long I’ll pump or how much I’ll be able to produce, but I’d love to give it to you if you want it.?

We both cried. This was a gift that meant so much to both of us.Sarah was longing to do something meaningful and in a way her feeding my daughter helped heal a tiny piece of her broken heart.She knew one of the painful losses of infertility and adoption was?my inability to breastfeed my children. They each had such a rough start in life and I wish I could have been able to at least give them that. I am incredibly grateful for the existence of infant formula because without it neither of my children would be alive and thriving today. We do know, however, that breastmilk is best for babies. I think most mothers who aren’t able to give that to their children (for any number of reasons) feel a sense of loss even while being incredibly grateful for the option of formula.

Evie Caris was born in November and lived for four hours surrounded by the people who love her most. We kissed her?face, took in every inch of her beauty, and then Sarah sang her into heaven.

A week later Sarah came over to my house carrying?a cooler filled with small plastic bags of milk. And every week for a few months she would continue to drop off breastmilk for my daughter. Each time I filled Arsema’s bottle and sat in the rocker to feed her I would think about Sarah and Evie. I would pray for Sarah’s broken heart and thank God for the gift Sarah had so selflessly given me and my daughter.

Next week we will take our daughter in for her 5th surgery in 3 years. She was just twelve months old when she went in for her first. Arsema hasn’t had the easiest ride throughout her young life and in the midst of doctor’s appointments and surgeries and hospital visits I choose to believe that?Sarah’s milk made a difference. Even though I will never know the full impact it had on Arsema’s health and well being.

I wish I could have breastfed my children. Sarah wishes she could have fed her daughter (and so do I? oh so do I.) But life doesn’t always make sense. When everything is broken and mixed up we have to create our own beauty from the pieces. Sarah feeding my daughter when she couldn’t feed hers is a beautiful example of love and generosity and grace in the midst of heart wrenching loss.

ourdaughters

The day we each met our daughters. Sarah and Evie (left) Lauren and Arsema (right)

Original post:?http://www.laurencasper.com/2016/05/26/my-friend-fed-my-daughter-when-she-couldnt-feed-hers/

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"I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adop "I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adoption story with you today! I was introduced to this precious couple by one of my other sweet CAC families. When their home study and profile were done, they were ready to start presenting to situations. My heart ached every single time I had to send them an email that said, 'I’m so sorry. The expectant mother has decided to move forward with another family.' I knew their story. I knew their heart. I knew everything that they had been through and it broke my heart to deliver this news each time. But they never gave up. They continued pressing forward through their fears, doubts, questions- and a pandemic! Their story has been an inspiration to me and I know many others. Today, they share the story that led them to their baby boy." - CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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***To continue reading click on the link in our bio***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, an Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world? There are many aspects of our services that set us apart, but today we wanted to touch on our professional and personal experience. Since 2006 we have assisted over 3,300 families with successful adoptions. CAC not only has a collective team of adoptive parents (45 children between the entire team), but also adoption professionals with over 120 years of combined experience. Our staff also includes a licensed and practicing social worker with 20+ years of experience, 2 birth parents, and an adoptee with birth parent and adoptee consultations as part of our services. ⁣
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If you are interested in receiving a FREE adoption packet, click on the link in our bio! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣
"When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I "When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I know I'm about to see the sweetest baby face and an update with how things are going. Just today I got a video filled with baby giggles, adoring siblings, and a family who grew from five to six in seven months. Jenny shares today about their adoption and specifically their experience working with Christian Adoption Consultants." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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To continue reading this beautiful adoption story, click on the link in our bio!⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light ca "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ⁣⁣
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Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May his words compel us every day to reflect God’s heart of love for all people. Lord, grow us, humble us, change us that all may see one another as image bearers of God.⁣
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful poem entitled, "Trees." @shabbysnap 
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𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬⁣⁣
𝘉𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩⁣⁣
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Funny how long they live⁣
Sending branches upward in heaves⁣
Reminding us of how we ought to be⁣
Relying on strength and agility⁣
In storms that swirl and pound and break⁣
Outward limbs, sometimes shake⁣
Seasons show upon their face⁣
Animals take rest in the shade⁣
Breath we take, exhaled for granted ⁣
Fruit they give freely, always enchanted ⁣
Though they watch and keep an eye⁣
On our life, just standing by⁣
Supplies provided, home to dwell⁣
Glory scattered in fall’s carnival⁣
Outlast, but never giving in⁣
Carrying us to the grave again⁣
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"The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers'' (Psalm 104:16-17).⁣⁣
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"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place" (Proverbs 3:17-19).⁣⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣⁣
This afternoon we have another adoption story over This afternoon we have another adoption story over on our blog. We pray it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! "Did we hear God wrong? It's easy to second guess your adoption plans when you're in the middle of the process; in the trenches of the wait. Sometimes even easy to second guess your faith and your ability to clearly hear God's call. But I've learned that God is always at work, even when we can't see it. Chris and Jen had these questions and decided to give up their plans for growing their family through adoption. And that's exactly the time they received a call about their son. Today Jen shares the questions, and the answers, that led them to their family of two growing to three." - CAC Adoption Consultants Susan @svansyckle ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Expectations. They can kind of make us or break u "Expectations. They can kind of make us or break us, can’t they? As I’ve walked with many people through their adoption journeys, I’ve seen families crushed by unrealistic expectations and I’ve seen families beautifully hope in God as they’ve surrendered their expectations to Him. So what does it look like to have reasonable expectations during your adoption and specifically as you work with an adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants? What does it look like for adoption expectations to 'make you' rather than 'break you?'" -CAC Adoption Consultant Katie F. @katiefenska ⁣
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***Click on the link in our bio to continue reading about adoption expectations***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We have another adoption story on the blog this ev We have another adoption story on the blog this evening! "It was an honor to walk with Jamey and Sydnee through their adoption journey. When we first connected I remember Sydnee opening up about their long journey through infertility and loss. She shared her heart and about the journey that led them to this specific place and time. She also shared some of their fears with me about the adoption process, one of them being too old' to be desirable to an expectant mother. As she was talking I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm so glad that God connected my path to these amazing people and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for them.' Their journey through the adoption process wasn't easy, but that same journey, the one with ups and downs, the one with disappointment, the one with waiting, led them to their daughter and I know they wouldn't change a thing about it. Jamey and Sydnee, thank you for allowing me to walk with you through the adoption process. I am beyond amazed at the story God wrote for your family! Today Sydnee shares that story..." -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
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