Understandably, as a family enters the adoption process, they may have many questions and inquiries about what it will look like for them specifically. Family dynamics are a big part of the journey, if not the biggest. Answering the call to adoption will impact a child and the entire adoptive family unit for a lifetime. For couples with biological children, it is a common question and concern to wonder if their family dynamic will negatively impact the adoption process. So, take a few minutes to keep reading. I pray that no matter what your family dynamic looks like, you’ll feel encouraged and challenged to keep an open mind throughout the adoption process while trusting Jesus the entire way.
I have talked to incredible couples over the years, and their stories always blow me away. I always ask what led them to consider adoption for their family, and while it may seem like infertility is the sole reason a family would choose adoption, that is not always the case.
Addressing Concerns About Large Families Adopting
Families choosing adoption come in all different shapes and sizes. There are unique reasons, stories, and moments that have led them to an inquiry call to start an adoption journey. When talking with these inquiring families, I have noticed there are a few common questions that come up almost immediately after I get to know them a little bit. Specifically, after learning that a family has biological children, the tone of the conversation tends to shift a bit. The excitement in their voices drifts away, and I begin to hear hesitation and uncertainty as they continue telling their story. They typically continue telling me about some encounters they have had that left them feeling discouraged and unsure if there is even a need for their family to adopt. The conversation now surrounds the idea of adoption with biological children and what that might look like.
Will we ever get chosen?
Will we get overlooked because of our other kids?
Are we “taking” an opportunity from another family?
Can I adopt if I already have biological children?
Is there even a need for my family to adopt?
These are all very valid questions! And heartbreakingly enough, I hear about so many times that a family’s questions are met with very discouraging feedback. So, is there a need for a large family to adopt? The answer to the question is YES, and I will tell you why.
Yes, your large family is needed!
When we have certain expectations of the adoption process and what it should look like for each family, we limit God and His purpose. God equips those He calls and gives the grace to walk out that specific calling. That might sound like a cliche saying, but it is true and definitely applies to large families in the adoption process.
God knows exactly what each family dynamic should look like to bring glory to His kingdom, and if He has placed the desire for adoption in your heart, then He sees a bigger picture! God’s design is not limited to our understanding of what the process should look like, but rather He knows how to meet and fill the needs that even we cannot see.
Expecting Mothers’ Preferences Are Diverse
Just like hopeful adoptive families come in all shapes and sizes, with various reasons and callings to adoption, expecting families have different preferences for what they desire in an adoptive family! Prior to being an adoption consultant with Christian Adoption Consultants, I worked in an agency setting, providing social services to expecting families. I walked alongside expecting mothers throughout their pregnancy, being in countless delivery rooms and even presenting potential adoptive families during the matching process.
I have asked questions as a mama flips through a profile book of an adoptive family, like, “what drew you to this particular family?” or “was there something specific that stood out about them?” Believe it or not, every expecting parent is not just looking for a childless couple. I can recall so many times that an expecting mother would begin to tell me about her childhood and the positive experience that she had growing up with siblings or a mama who has other children herself and realizes that giving her unborn child a family with siblings would be sentimental and the desire of her heart.
Is there a need for YOUR family to adopt? Yes, no matter what your family currently looks like!
I pray that as you consider adoption for your family, no matter what your family dynamic currently looks like, you will remember that God always sees the greater need. His ways are always higher than ours, and we can trust Him. Keeping an open mind about the adoption process will not only benefit you throughout your personal journey, but it will allow you to step into a God-sized calling to meet a very real need.
***Although CAC works with large families, some agencies do not. Here at CAC, we can recommend agencies that will be the best fit for your family dynamics. Please don’t hesitate to reach out (see link below). We would love to help you!***
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