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Heart Wisdom From Mamas

March 14, 2019 By Karalee Alvey

I have the loveliest post for you today! So many of my very favorite mamas via adoption? have volunteered to open their hearts to help support those of you who are stillin the wait. Here is some encouragement to help you get through the days when waiting is the hardest:

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Try to keep an open heart and open mind. Looking back, I can’t imagine not having an open adoption.The bond I was able to form with our daughter’s birth mom is indescribable. The hurt, love, and compassion I felt for her was just as strong as the love I had for my new little girl. Not only did we get a daughter in this process, we got a whole new birth family that we still are in touch with 4.5 years later. So, if it any point throughout this process you don’t feel like you are strong enough, I promise you, you are? you got this mama! -Brittany

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To those considering adoption: God didn’t tell us to adopt by writing it on the wall- it was gentle whispers and softened hearts. One thing I came to realize is that it’s hard to go wrong in choosing adoption. James 1:27 says,Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. God’s heart beats for adoption.
To those waiting: we had many fears along the way but we didn’t have to face them all at once. As we trusted God, that he was leading us down this path, he helped us to overcome each fear as it came up. The first time we got ano? after presenting, a social worker encouraged us saying, No one can get the baby that God intends for your family?. To witness a woman placing her baby, not because she wants to, but because she is making a sacrifice to give her child a better life is very humbling. -Courtney

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After two adoptions in the past four years I can honestly say that I’m still learning. I’m not quite on theother side? yet but I have been taught one lesson through adoption over and over?.And that is that hard does not equal bad. Hard does not equal lack of faith. Hard does not mean that God is not working. There is so much beauty and grace in the hard but you have to hold on because you can’t see it until there’s room to look back. There is so much beauty. It’s there in the wait and in the disappointments and it will take your breath away when you hold it in your arms. -Tabitha

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Take a deep breath and surrender ALL expectations to God. We agonized over the process, how it would look, what it would be like, the no’s we got, the no’s we gave. Expanding our preferences when we realized God would never give us the wrong? baby. The expectations of what the hospital would be like?.it is human nature to set expectations and fill in all of unknowns with the ideal. It will never be perfect BUT the process is imperfectly beautiful. It doesn’t matter how much notice you have in your match, or whether you have a third party at the hospital?nothing can prepare your heart. Be open minded and keep an open heart. -Carli

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I think I over analyzed too much which is really just a waste of time, and for me it just distracted me from God’s plan. I worried that birth mothers wouldn’t like us, or like our profile but wouldn’t like us after meeting us. God’s plan is real, it’s the best thing ever, and all we have to do is wait for His timing. -Heather

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?Know that God’s got this, even when it’s so hard not to give up. There were times in the seven and a half years of waiting, infertility treatment, and miscarriages when we doubted God’s love and timing. But thenboom? it all happened in one incredible week! God meticulously planned out every detail surrounding our daughter’s whirlwind adoption. It made everything we went through make sense. I would also say be prepared for the mix of emotions at placement and as you grow your relationship with your child’s birth family. Adoption is both joy and loss wrapped up together for everyone involved. It has taught me so much about love, compassion, flexibility, and overcoming the fear of the unknown. -Bethany

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I’ll just throw in my old saying: adoption is so, so, so hard until one day it’s not. We’ve adopted twice and had extraordinarily different experiences with each one, but they both ended the same way: a precious, perfect baby at great expense to another woman. It is a crazy mix of conflicting and confusing emotions until one day you are home and your son or daughter is just your son or daughter. Adoption heals broken things, broken places, and broken people. God is good and because adoption heals and because every time, in every case, it is so, so hard until it is not. -Katherine

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I think the biggest lessons through both of our adoptions were (1) checking my control freak nature at the door (God is in charge) (2) recognizing that no two situations or paths are the same (3) taking other people’s advice and commentary as their attempt to help not hurt (even though their words often hurt) (4) admitting to yourself how far you can push yourself emotionally (we all have limits) and (5) accepting that it’s not a matter of IF you will be a parent, but a matter of WHEN! -Jennifer

Not until I surrendered my desires to God and saidnot my will but yours? did things begin to fall into action. He opened my eyes and heart throughout the years preparing me for the children he had planned for my family all along When we did hear our yes, it was worth every moment of waiting. I can look back through my life and praise God for his perfect timing. -Ashley

I love every word these amazing mamas shared from their beautiful hearts. Adoption is so hard, until it’s not. And it’s worth every single second. It’s about giving up our own timelines and our own control and trusting God’s timing. It’s the ultimate in redemption beauty from ashes. Our kids? birth moms are absolute heroes, and the relationships we get to build with them are truly one of life’s great gifts. Thank you, all who shared. I pray if you?re reading and currently waiting that you know you?re held in your fellow adoptive mamas? hearts and prayers. If you?d like more information about domestic adoption, contact me at karalee@christianadoptionconsultants.com.

Related Posts

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  • Adoption Story: Kate & Peter
  • What does adoption mean to me (Part 2)What does adoption mean to me (Part 2)

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"I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adop "I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adoption story with you today! I was introduced to this precious couple by one of my other sweet CAC families. When their home study and profile were done, they were ready to start presenting to situations. My heart ached every single time I had to send them an email that said, 'I’m so sorry. The expectant mother has decided to move forward with another family.' I knew their story. I knew their heart. I knew everything that they had been through and it broke my heart to deliver this news each time. But they never gave up. They continued pressing forward through their fears, doubts, questions- and a pandemic! Their story has been an inspiration to me and I know many others. Today, they share the story that led them to their baby boy." - CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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***To continue reading click on the link in our bio***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, an Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world? There are many aspects of our services that set us apart, but today we wanted to touch on our professional and personal experience. Since 2006 we have assisted over 3,300 families with successful adoptions. CAC not only has a collective team of adoptive parents (45 children between the entire team), but also adoption professionals with over 120 years of combined experience. Our staff also includes a licensed and practicing social worker with 20+ years of experience, 2 birth parents, and an adoptee with birth parent and adoptee consultations as part of our services. ⁣
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If you are interested in receiving a FREE adoption packet, click on the link in our bio! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣
"When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I "When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I know I'm about to see the sweetest baby face and an update with how things are going. Just today I got a video filled with baby giggles, adoring siblings, and a family who grew from five to six in seven months. Jenny shares today about their adoption and specifically their experience working with Christian Adoption Consultants." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light ca "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ⁣⁣
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Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May his words compel us every day to reflect God’s heart of love for all people. Lord, grow us, humble us, change us that all may see one another as image bearers of God.⁣
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful poem entitled, "Trees." @shabbysnap 
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𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬⁣⁣
𝘉𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩⁣⁣
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Funny how long they live⁣
Sending branches upward in heaves⁣
Reminding us of how we ought to be⁣
Relying on strength and agility⁣
In storms that swirl and pound and break⁣
Outward limbs, sometimes shake⁣
Seasons show upon their face⁣
Animals take rest in the shade⁣
Breath we take, exhaled for granted ⁣
Fruit they give freely, always enchanted ⁣
Though they watch and keep an eye⁣
On our life, just standing by⁣
Supplies provided, home to dwell⁣
Glory scattered in fall’s carnival⁣
Outlast, but never giving in⁣
Carrying us to the grave again⁣
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"The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers'' (Psalm 104:16-17).⁣⁣
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"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place" (Proverbs 3:17-19).⁣⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣⁣
This afternoon we have another adoption story over This afternoon we have another adoption story over on our blog. We pray it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! "Did we hear God wrong? It's easy to second guess your adoption plans when you're in the middle of the process; in the trenches of the wait. Sometimes even easy to second guess your faith and your ability to clearly hear God's call. But I've learned that God is always at work, even when we can't see it. Chris and Jen had these questions and decided to give up their plans for growing their family through adoption. And that's exactly the time they received a call about their son. Today Jen shares the questions, and the answers, that led them to their family of two growing to three." - CAC Adoption Consultants Susan @svansyckle ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Expectations. They can kind of make us or break u "Expectations. They can kind of make us or break us, can’t they? As I’ve walked with many people through their adoption journeys, I’ve seen families crushed by unrealistic expectations and I’ve seen families beautifully hope in God as they’ve surrendered their expectations to Him. So what does it look like to have reasonable expectations during your adoption and specifically as you work with an adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants? What does it look like for adoption expectations to 'make you' rather than 'break you?'" -CAC Adoption Consultant Katie F. @katiefenska ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We have another adoption story on the blog this ev We have another adoption story on the blog this evening! "It was an honor to walk with Jamey and Sydnee through their adoption journey. When we first connected I remember Sydnee opening up about their long journey through infertility and loss. She shared her heart and about the journey that led them to this specific place and time. She also shared some of their fears with me about the adoption process, one of them being too old' to be desirable to an expectant mother. As she was talking I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm so glad that God connected my path to these amazing people and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for them.' Their journey through the adoption process wasn't easy, but that same journey, the one with ups and downs, the one with disappointment, the one with waiting, led them to their daughter and I know they wouldn't change a thing about it. Jamey and Sydnee, thank you for allowing me to walk with you through the adoption process. I am beyond amazed at the story God wrote for your family! Today Sydnee shares that story..." -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
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