• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Looking for something?

Let’s Get in Touch

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Christian Adoption Consultants

Helping Couples on Their Adoption Journey

  • ABOUT
    • OUR FOUNDERS
    • OUR STATS
    • WHY HIRE A CONSULTANT?
  • SUPPORT TEAM
  • Consulting Services
  • Profile Design Services
  • Happy Clients
  • Blog
  • Contact Us

Guest post – Dear Hopeful Adoptive Parent, I See You

April 27, 2018 By Jonnilyn Spinks

Guest post – Dear Hopeful Adoptive Parent, I See You

April 26, 2018
?
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, it’s my pleasure to share this beautiful essay from one of my sweet clients, Miranda! ?
?
?
Dear Hopeful Adoptive Parent, I See You
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, but how does that tie in to adoption? For many families, an infertility diagnosis is what led to the decision to adopt.
Many families who grew through adoption started in the trenches of infertility. They started in a cold, sterile exam room where an infertility diagnosis was first given. Many couples who chose adoption had to endure countless tests and spend thousands of dollars to never see a positive pregnancy test. Others saw plenty of positive pregnancy tests but will never get to hold their babies this side of Heaven.
And that’s where infertility and adoption come together.
Because in the trenches of infertility, someone probably told those couples tojust adopt. But let’s address that right now. If you are on a journey to adoption after infertility, let’s do something together right now. Let’s drop the wordjust? as a prefix for adopt. That word minimizes the significance of the journey you are taking. That word makes it seem like your journey is lesser, that you are settling, that the path you are taking is easier.
But you are strong. You are brave.?You are willing to put your own desires aside to raise a child.
And adoption isn’t easier. There’s nothing easier about choosing to raise a baby grown in another woman’s womb. You will forge difficult but rewarding relationships with birth parents, you will put your desires for prenatal care aside and you will take risks all in the name of the child who will one day be yours.
You are committed to a child you know absolutely nothing about.
I see you, hopeful adoptive parent.I see your worries and your fears and your excitement and your dreams.
I see you because I’ve been there, too.
As best you can, you?ve moved on from fertility treatments. Maybe you never started, or maybe you?ve spent your life savings and still have no baby in your arms. But for your own personal reasons, you?ve chosen to close that door and open another one: The one labeled adoption.
Now you?re here. You?re about to begin the oftentimes long adoption process in hopes that this will be the path that makes you a parent.
I’m so happy for you.I know you?re uneasy now, but this will be so rewarding.
You mail off a mountain of paperwork. You take long lunches to get fingerprinted and go to appointments so a doctor can say you are healthy enough to raise a child.
Haven’t you seen enough doctors already? I understand the annoyance. You got weekly blood draws trying to get pregnant, and now you have to see another doctor? It’s frustrating but?you do it anyway.
You get aggravated by the long to-do list. Some people get pregnant on accident and they don’t have to do all this to prove their worth as a parent.I feel your frustrations.And by the way,?you are worthy.
It’s time for the social worker to come for your home visit. I see you fussing at your spouse for missing that cobweb in the dining room, but I promise the social worker won’t notice. I see you popping a batch of cookies in the oven to make the house smell good. I see that lemonade in the fancy pitcher the one you?ve never used since you got it as a wedding gift.But today feels so monumental that you pulled it out.
I see you begging your dogs not to bark when the social worker rings the doorbell. They do anyway, but it’s ok. She’s not here to rule you out of adopting. She’s here to approve you. I know it doesn’t feel that way though.
I hear you nervously answering all of her questions the ones you?ve thought about and the ones you haven’t.I see you trying to hold back tears when she asks why you are adopting.The lump is forming in your throat. Even though you know this is right, you want her to know it, too. You know in your heart that you?re not expecting to get pregnant, and you hope she sees it too.You hope she sees how truly overjoyed you are to adopt.
I see her pouring over your finances and touring your home and reading your character references. And I feel you wondering if you?re going to be good enough.
You are enough. You are good enough.
She leaves and you breathe a sigh of relief. You and your spouse rehash every second of the three hour visit, hoping you didn’t say anything wrong or give off a bad impression. You convince yourself that you definitely did not pass.
But you press on.
While you wait to find out if your home study is approved, you go to those mandatory CPR and parenting classes. You?re in a room surrounded by pregnant women and your heart aches?so much. You listen and learn as much as you can while the pit in your stomach grows. Because?adoption doesn’t cure infertility, and you still don’t even know if you?ll ever be a parent.You keep going because your dedication to your future child is worth the pain and the waiting now.
You leave the class and cry the whole way home. It’s exciting to be taking steps toward parenthood but it’s still so hard to be surrounded by expectant moms who are learning about labor and delivery and birth plans.It wasn’t that long ago that you thought you?d be doing that.
Even though you are 100 percent confident in your choice to adopt,?the weight of infertility is so heavy.
On the ride home, you also have thoughts of your birth mom. Is she pregnant now? Is she learning about labor and delivery? Will she regret her decision to form an adoption plan? Who is she and is she ok right now? She’s about to have to endure much worse that you have so that you can be a parent. The weight of that is heavier than you want it to be. Adoption is beautiful, but parts of it can be messy too. You already know your joy might be her pain.The weight of that feels heavier than the weight of infertility.
A few days later, you get the call:?Your home study was approved.?Hallelujah! You?re officially a waiting family.
If you?ve signed up with a consultant (which I highly recommend) you will start receiving cases expectant birth moms who will be reviewing profile books. You send your book off and start imagining your family with that child.
Then you find out you weren’t picked.It sort of feels like a negative pregnancy test all over again.?You wonder what about your profile they didn’t like. You question everything.
Then you pick yourself up and send off your profile to the next case.?And the next and the next and the next.
And then one day, your phone rings.You?ve been matched!
It feels like the best day of your life. You haven’t had many days that have been this great since that infertility diagnosis, which now feels like a lifetime ago.
You share the news maybe with just family and close friends, maybe with the whole world. Someone warns you not to get too attached. Adoption plans fall through, you know.
You?re hurt. In the back of your mind, you know they?re right. But you also remember how infertility felt. Until you knew a treatment didn’t work, you had hope and love for that baby, for the possibility of the baby. Perhaps you are an IVF warrior, and you know how much you loved those embryos, even though you never got to hold them in your arms.
So in the midst of your hurt and your anger, you respond. This baby deserves to be loved unconditionally. Even if you?re risking your heart being broken, you can handle it. You?re strong. You?ve been through so much already. This baby doesn’t deserve to not be loved even if this falls through.
You start planning and dreaming about the day the child is placed in your arms.
The day comes. Forget match day, this is the best day of your life. A baby is placed in your arms, maybe by a birth parent, maybe by a nurse, maybe by a foster mom. It doesn’t matter how it all happened,?you are now a parent.This is the best day of your life.

All of those tears you cried, from your infertility diagnosis to today? They all make sense now. Every heartbreak, every lesson, every tear all led to this moment.
?Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created. Esther?4:14
In this moment, as a new parent, all of the pieces of your broken heart have been put back together. It all makes sense now, every painstaking step of the journey.
Adoption didn’t cure your infertility. It built your family. And that’s what matters above all else.
?He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord! Psalms 13:9
?

Related Posts

  • Adoption Myths and AssumptionsAdoption Myths and Assumptions
  • Adoption Story: John + Lindsay
  • A Birth Parent StoryA Birth Parent Story
  • HELLO HarperHELLO Harper

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Jonnilyn Spinks

Jonnilyn has over 5 years agency experience including all aspects of birth/adoptive family care and case management. She has such a strong passion for adoption, as she is an adopted child herself so she has a very unique perspective. Jonnilyn has had the joy of making a very personal part of her life a profession. She attended the State College of Florida and comes from an extensive background in social services. Ultimately, Jonnilyn finds it such an honor and a calling to walk alongside of families in their adoption journey.

Primary Sidebar

Questions?

WE CAN HELP!

WE CAN HELP!

Contact us today for a FREE Adoption Information Packet or to schedule a phone consultation! We can answer your questions and create an adoption plan for you. Ready to take the next step?

Recent Posts

  • Adoption Story: Ryan + Jenny
  • Adoption Story: Chris + Jen
  • Adoption Expectations That Make You, Not Break You
  • Adoption Story: Jamey + Sydnee
  • Knowing
welcome

WHY HIRE US?

After 3,000 adoptions, we’ve learned a thing or two.
Let us create a custom, individualized adoption plan for you.

LEARN MORE!

Footer

YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

You deserve the best! That’s why we’ve assembled an amazingly talented team that is highly qualified to support you on your adoption journey!

Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world?

LET´S GET IN TOUCH

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
We'd love to hear from you!

info@christianadoptionconsultants.com

Office Hours: Monday-Friday 9-6 EST
"When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I "When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I know I'm about to see the sweetest baby face and an update with how things are going. Just today I got a video filled with baby giggles, adoring siblings, and a family who grew from five to six in seven months. Jenny shares today about their adoption and specifically their experience working with Christian Adoption Consultants." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
⁣
To continue reading this beautiful adoption story, click on the link in our bio!⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light ca "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May his words compel us every day to reflect God’s heart of love for all people. Lord, grow us, humble us, change us that all may see one another as image bearers of God.⁣
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful poem entitled, "Trees." @shabbysnap 
⁣⁣
𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬⁣⁣
𝘉𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Funny how long they live⁣
Sending branches upward in heaves⁣
Reminding us of how we ought to be⁣
Relying on strength and agility⁣
In storms that swirl and pound and break⁣
Outward limbs, sometimes shake⁣
Seasons show upon their face⁣
Animals take rest in the shade⁣
Breath we take, exhaled for granted ⁣
Fruit they give freely, always enchanted ⁣
Though they watch and keep an eye⁣
On our life, just standing by⁣
Supplies provided, home to dwell⁣
Glory scattered in fall’s carnival⁣
Outlast, but never giving in⁣
Carrying us to the grave again⁣
⁣
 ⁣
"The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers'' (Psalm 104:16-17).⁣⁣
⁣⁣
"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place" (Proverbs 3:17-19).⁣⁣
⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣⁣
This afternoon we have another adoption story over This afternoon we have another adoption story over on our blog. We pray it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! "Did we hear God wrong? It's easy to second guess your adoption plans when you're in the middle of the process; in the trenches of the wait. Sometimes even easy to second guess your faith and your ability to clearly hear God's call. But I've learned that God is always at work, even when we can't see it. Chris and Jen had these questions and decided to give up their plans for growing their family through adoption. And that's exactly the time they received a call about their son. Today Jen shares the questions, and the answers, that led them to their family of two growing to three." - CAC Adoption Consultants Susan @svansyckle ⁣
⁣
*To continue reading click on the link in our bio*⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Expectations. They can kind of make us or break u "Expectations. They can kind of make us or break us, can’t they? As I’ve walked with many people through their adoption journeys, I’ve seen families crushed by unrealistic expectations and I’ve seen families beautifully hope in God as they’ve surrendered their expectations to Him. So what does it look like to have reasonable expectations during your adoption and specifically as you work with an adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants? What does it look like for adoption expectations to 'make you' rather than 'break you?'" -CAC Adoption Consultant Katie F. @katiefenska ⁣
⁣
***Click on the link in our bio to continue reading about adoption expectations***⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We have another adoption story on the blog this ev We have another adoption story on the blog this evening! "It was an honor to walk with Jamey and Sydnee through their adoption journey. When we first connected I remember Sydnee opening up about their long journey through infertility and loss. She shared her heart and about the journey that led them to this specific place and time. She also shared some of their fears with me about the adoption process, one of them being too old' to be desirable to an expectant mother. As she was talking I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm so glad that God connected my path to these amazing people and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for them.' Their journey through the adoption process wasn't easy, but that same journey, the one with ups and downs, the one with disappointment, the one with waiting, led them to their daughter and I know they wouldn't change a thing about it. Jamey and Sydnee, thank you for allowing me to walk with you through the adoption process. I am beyond amazed at the story God wrote for your family! Today Sydnee shares that story..." -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
⁣
***Click on the link in our bio to continue reading***⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a poem entitled, “Knowing.” We pray her words would help your heart reflect on this truth: “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'” (Psalm 46:10)⁣⁣
⁣⁣
𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠⁣⁣
𝘣𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩 @shabbysnap⁣⁣
⁣⁣
In the stillness⁣⁣
I hear His voice⁣⁣
In in the quiet⁣⁣
I feel His comfort⁣⁣
In the silence⁣⁣
I sense His presence⁣⁣
In the wind⁣⁣
I’m in awe of His power⁣⁣
In my children⁣⁣
I’m amazed with His face⁣⁣
In the mirror⁣⁣
I’m humbled by His grace⁣⁣
In the hum of silence⁣⁣
I know Him⁣⁣
⁣⁣
⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We pray you had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy We pray you had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! We thought there is no better way to start off the year than with an adoption story! ⁣
⁣
"Sometimes when God asks for your 'yes,' he only gives you the very next step. For Seth and Brittany, they took the next right step the entire time, even when they didn’t know exactly where they were headed. Home study, done. Find Christian Adoption Consultants, done. Begin seeing situations…present to expectant families…raise finances for the next phase…⁣
⁣
Every step a new challenge. And every step a new space to trust God with their future and their family. Today I’m so thankful for Brittany who shares the details of their story in such a way to encourage other families who might feel hesitant taking the next step God is calling them to take." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣ @svansyckle 
⁣
***To continue reading click on the link in our bio***⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Follow on Instagram
  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions

Copyright © 2021 · Powered by PersistSEO DMCA.com Protection Status