Dear Adoptive Dad,
Yes. I’ll be sad after I leave the hospital, after the six weeks of support counsel, which should last a lifetime. That isn’t your fault, but maybe you could ask someone on my behalf. It can only help our growth and benefit our child’s experiences. I do hope to one day tell my child that they were so wanted, needed, loved and adored that they deserved stability and safety. I may miss a visit or I may not reciprocate your efforts: please don’t give up on me. Pray for me. It’s gonna be hard, but I need you to know that my grief isn’t a fear-triggering kind. I went from being full of hope and life—something I’ve never known—to being an empty shell of a person again. Trauma rolled in like a freight train and immobilized my small steps of progress. But keep your promises and keep your love coming. Keep a backlog of items with dates to prove you’ve been loving and thinking of me. I may not believe your words. Remember my trust issues from before? I don’t always believe what people promise. I will re-emerge from my grief and sorrow, so I will need the door to your heart to be wide open and ready. Just like what people say about God’s love: it’s always there.
If I go back to school, encourage me. Show my child that you care about their roots by telling them about my unique heritage, as well as explaining the difficult aspects of adoption. I don’t want our child to feel like there isn’t a safe space to talk about these things. I will try to do everything I can to help you.
If I become successful one day, I’m not gonna come take my child from you. I’m not gonna outshine, upstage, or be a threat to you because I’ve already known your real love and dedication. It’s been profound in my life. It’s been a true trajectory shift for me and I would never want to hurt you. The thought would never even enter my mind. In fact, I’m sure we will celebrate milestones, sports, ceremonies and more in the future.
See, I consider you family because you have an important piece of me. I thank you for all that you’ve done by being a true, God-sent angel on this earth. I thank you for showing me the face of God in your love, actions, words and time. It’s changed my heart of stone into a soft space for Jesus.
Happy Father’s Day! You didn’t know you’d get an additional plus one when our adoption was final, but hey, neither did I! Hang in there. Head held high. Your consistency, vulnerability and love is the greatest gift any man has ever given me.
“The same way a loving father feels toward his children— that’s but a sample of your tender feelings toward us, your beloved children, who live in awe of you.” Psalms 103:13 TPT
“Pay close attention, my child, to your father’s wise words and never forget your mother’s instructions. For their insight will bring you success, adorning you with grace-filled thoughts and giving you reins to guide your decisions.”Proverbs 1:8-9 TPT
If you missed Part 1, you can read it here.