Those Early Conversations

When?you hear a family talk about their adoption journey, they usually start with “It’s always been on our heart to adopt, and so we started the paperwork….”.

This is probably the biggest oversimplification you’ll ever hear, because long before that first piece of paperwork was filled out, there were a lot of conversations between the husband and wife. Those conversations were not simple, because the decision is a serious?one.

It may be that you’re ready to adopt but your spouse is not.Here are a few things to remember in?making this decision together.

Big decisions are rarely made perfectly in step.

This doesn’t mean you don’t need to agree, because you certainly can’t adopt with only one of you in favor of it, but you need to weigh how big of a decision this is.You don’t buy a house on a whim.You don’t move across the country based on one conversation. And you certainly don’t adopt without some healthy back and forth.

You may even exchange places at some point – they may get excited as you get fearful. In God’s time, you will both find your “yes” and it will serve to unify you like nothing else. Keep talking about it.

Finances weigh differently on people.

Generally, one person in the family physically pays the bills. Even if they both produce income, one person sits down with the checkbook and makes it all work. If you’re not that person, it may be easier for you to believe for the money to come in. The bill payer has to believe every month, and they may see adoption as poor stewardship or even impossible right now.

When you press that “Now is the time,” you can make them feel like they need to manufacture the money.They think that you don’t understand how tight things are financially.

Talk about other times that God has come through for you financially.Most couples have more than a few stories about God’s faithfulness. This could be another one of those.

Give God room to move.

There is a temptation to try and wear down the will of the spouse who is not ready to adopt, hoping they’ll finally give in and say yes.Don’t do this. An adopted child cannot afford an unengaged parent.

Talk when you can, pray when you can’t, but wait and allow God to touch the heart of the other person so you can proceed in unison.

Big decisions take time and when the time is right, both of you will be in agreement.

If you feel that the timing for adoption might be right for you, contact us atinfo@ChristianAdoptionConsultants.com?or call 1.888.833.1114.? We’d love to serve as your consultants through the process of bringing your child home.