Today we have another perspective piece from an Adoptive Father. Libby’s (CAC Profile Designer) husband, Eddy, shares with us an honest and vulnerable depiction of how the Lord shifted his thoughts in the journey to grow their family.
Fathers, we have the incredible privilege and responsibility of reflecting our Heavenly Father to our kids. We will never live up to the task fully. When we fall short, let’s be quick to own our failure, apologize and show our dependency on Jesus. Our imperfections can be used to point them to the One who is perfect. Our story of adoption is an example of that.
To be honest, I never thought adoption was for me. Don’t get me wrong. I always believed it was a wonderful thing. I enjoyed helping other families who were going through the process of adopting and I certainly loved getting to know the children they adopted.
I just didn’t feel like it was a calling for me.
But, then there was my wife, Libby, who felt adoption was always something she wanted to do. It was on her heart at a very young age. I distinctly remember the conversation we had in our first year of marriage about the possibility of adopting. We knew we wanted biological children. I wasn’t super receptive to the idea of adopting.
If I would have been honest, all of the reasons why I wasn’t willing to adopt were based on fears and selfishness (I’ll expand on this later). We sort of left it at, if we do adopt, it would be after we were done having biological children. Two years later we had our first son, Grant.
Thirteen months after he was born, we decided to start trying for another child. Two days later, we found out that Libby was pregnant. And eight months later, we were holding a beautiful little girl, Quincey.
As much as having a son changed my world, having a baby girl did the same all over again. Fathers with little girls, you know what I mean.
As quickly as God blessed us with our first two children, we did not expect any problems as we tried for a third. After 6 months of trying with no success, we started to wonder what was going on. After a year, we knew there was something wrong.
After a year and a half, Libby was emotional drained; eighteen months of believing that this could be the month, only to find out it wasn’t, had taken its toll.
Throughout this whole time, I tried to stay positive. The days that followed each negative pregnancy test were very tough. As Libby would be crying I would suggest solutions or try words of encouragement. It took me a long time to realize that this wasn’t what she was looking for.
She just needed my comfort.
Why do I bring all of this up? Because adoption has been one of the major ways that I have experienced the richness of God’s comfort.
Earlier I mentioned that my reasons for not adopting were based on my own selfishness and fear. I knew that adoption was expensive. I knew that it would take a great deal of sacrifice. I thought about dealing with the emotional struggles that adoptive children may have. I went as far as thinking about the implications that adoption would have on my children’s inheritance. All of this was self-focused, faithless, and weak.
And then it hit me. “Could you imagine if God would have this same perspective?” Thank goodness He doesn’t . . .
“In Love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us” – Ephesians 1:5-8
My adoption as a child of God cost Him more than I could ever offer. Any sacrifice on my part pales in comparison to His sacrifice. He deals with the emotional struggles that I have, by addressing my doubt and reminding me that I have been given a new identity as His child. He has lavished an inheritance upon me that is better than I could ever imagine.
God comforted me by reminding me, that this is not about me. It is about Him. What a great opportunity adoption is to reflect what He has done for us.
With this fresh perspective in our minds, we jumped into the adoption process. It seemed overwhelming, but with counsel from Christian Adoption Consultants, we were blessed to welcome our third child into our family, Leo Judah. His name means Lion of Praise. We pray that his life would match his name.
Fathers, never forget who you represent.