“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15
Birth Mother’s Day falls on the Saturday before Mother’s Day each year and was formed in 1990 by a group of birth mothers in Seatle, WA. They banned together to support one another in a society where our role is largely unseen or acknowledged, especially back then, and the tradition has carried on since. It was a gesture to bring awareness to our invisible motherhood. We’ve given birth and have maternal feelings, but we aren’t a mom to our children in the traditional sense. While there are different feelings on if there should be a separate date to celebrate our unique version of motherhood, it has been helpful to make waves of change. (If you don’t know what your child’s birth mom prefers- just ask!)
Feeling unseen is a commonality for birth mothers in many spaces, along with the blaring silence encouraged for so long as we have been told not to talk about our grief and just “move on.” Yet, as awareness has increased over the years, there has also been more space to exist in society along with the adoptive families we’ve chosen, standing more proudly in our decision. We are seeing that there is room for us both, and as a birth mom myself, thank you for that.
Even before we knew Birth Mother’s Day was a thing, my daughter’s adoptive mom took time to honor me on my first Mother’s Day. A simple card thanking me meant the world. This is often a challenging weekend for us as a reminder of what we are missing in day-to-day life with our child. It doesn’t take much to acknowledge and honor the birth mother in your life! So here’s your reminder to send that thoughtful text, email, a cute photo, or call to check up on her today. Tell her thank you and how much she means to you. Help her know her role is seen and valued. If you don’t have a relationship, take time today to lift her (and all birth mothers) up in prayer.