Birth Mother Perspective: Our Words Matter

In the untimely crisis mode of an unplanned pregnancy, the usage of valuable, comforting, validating, engaging and empowering language is critical.   

If words cultivate an experience, 
they can enhance a lifelong memory. 
If words have the ability to encourage or propel,
they also have the vigor to destroy,
trigger or impede progress.
If quality words are desired of our leaders, 
they serve a delicate, yet influential purpose in shepherding individuals. 
If words matter at a wedding, 
they matter in adoption.
If words imprint into historical quotes,
they speak through and with the generations.
If words matter at death,
then let’s fill each day with positive, vulnerable, honoring and connecting words. 

The goal should be to speak with certainty, commitment, loyalty, love and bravery—always. Seek to embody humility and a genuine spirit before trying on words that do not match the intention of your heart.

Dedication over desire
Commitment over hope
Promise over want or even the word “if”
Strength over bravery 
Engagement over flat, one-sided talk
Worth over constant thanks 
Value over cliche 
Blessings over saying you’re praying 
Genuine over being picture perfect
Inquiry over proving position/stability

And these words—this obedience to the building up of your family—will produce growth and connection. It starts in your heart and flows freely as the invisible/visible, tangible and intangible love. Instead of only building a bridge of words to temporarily connect to a birth parent, think of how these words are connecting your souls indefinitely. Then it becomes more than merely providing a home for a child, instead cultivation happens—ensuring a committed relationship full of vulnerability, curiosity and boldness. Where will GOD take this adoption connection, rather than where will YOU take it.

The word is power. Generations upon generations are awaiting this semantic shift, this honor and restoration of the courageous and difficult choice birth parents are united in enduring: the choice that some had, while others didn’t, yet we all stand together and agree.By choosing wisely, doing a bit of soul-searching and implementing, YOU can honor today’s birth parents, but also those of eras who never once heard a kind word about their sacrifice, those who never saw their baby’s face, said goodbye or had a choice in the matter of placement. And for the birth parents who pursue adoption rather than parent in today’s climate, we can affirm their choice and support their reentering into society with support, love and truth.