Birth Mother Perspective: More Than Crisis

Today and throughout the rest of this month CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, will be sharing pieces of her story through poems, posts and inspiring words. If you missed her post from earlier this week about the beautiful way her son’s adoptive mother was crucial in her growth as a young birth mother, you can read it here!

On the day that I found out I was pregnant, 16 yrs and 9 months old, I couldn’t imagine how God could use my tears confusion or crisis for good. I simply wasn’t capable of grasping the fuller picture of glory through trial. But who can fathom, predict or let alone see beyond themselves in such trying times? The hand of God was evident in the nature of every detail though. He knew how all of this would work; He knew how he’d mend my heart to restore my trust in man and He knew that this little boy would be the ultimate test of my faith. Could I carry him and think beyond myself? Could I endure the glares, scowls and chatter? Could I get over the intense mourning a mother feels when separated from her child? The answers are complicated, but glorious; a yes and a no. Tyler would come to me, chat with me, grace me with his hugs and slather me with his wisdom. He walked down my wedding aisle, stayed in my home and even vacationed with me. He’s family! So, heartache and future fears aside, joy hope and love win. He took an enormous tangle—me included—and turned it into something miraculous. Life, no matter how hard, is celebrated without regrets. Words matter and awkward is always sitting next to growth.