Birth Mom Perspective: After All

CAC Adoption Advocate & Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful and vulnerable post with us today on her experience as young birth mother and the relationships that the Lord knitted together through adoption.

After being in a crisis needing an immediate solution.
After answering the questions from other high schoolers asking what happened to my child.
After the awkward stares.
After the choosing of a family that would raise my child.
After the delivery by cesarean section.
After five days in the hospital feeling totally alone.
After leaving the hospital without my child.
After being isolated in a state of grief.
After discovering I was still a child—despite growing a life.
After expanding my life and family.
After many doctors inquired how many pregnancies I’ve had.
After answering questions and explaining the first full-term delivery.
After grieving and heaving a separation I could not explain.
After all of this.
She loved me.
She loved my son.
And it fed me in ways nothing else could.
And she let him grow and mature at his own pace, organically.
And she let him call me mom—because he needed that for a bit.

Her confidence ignited my confidence. It broke shame, guilt and unrelenting doubt within me.

Being a mom can do that—if fear and offense are left out of the equation. If loving, patient and consistent communication is the standard, anything is possible. If wholeness and unity are the goals, God fills in the mortar.

After all, I never earned the title mom for my son, but I did go through trials to bring him here. Isn’t THAT what moms do? I’m happy I got to partner with a more mature momma bear on the journey of life. She and I fought in the Spirit to fend off anything that could potentially thwart our son’s progress. And 27 years later, we still do.

What happens in the Spirit world is far greater than what happens in the natural. Can you hear our spirits groaning together in this harmonious life called adoption? I was adopted into their family, while they were adopted into mine. We are intertwined forever.

After all, fire ignites newness. Smoldering is the simmering of rapid growth and rebirth.

Trust Him with your “after all,” since He is good at writing beautiful, healing, blooming, stories of hope.