ADOPTION STORY: TONY AND HEIDI
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Every adoption story involves waiting, and Tony and Heidi’s adoption journey had more waiting than any of us initially anticipated. They decided to pursue adoption after a family conversation with their kids about giving back to their community.During the conversation, their son Ryan said, We should adopt some kids. This planted a seed, and Tony later felt the Lord confirming His desire for them to grow their family through adoption. They started the process with a local agency and after a year of waiting, the local agency closed their domestic program.Discouraged, they began researching other options and connected with Christian Adoption Consultants. I began working on their family profile while they worked on their home study. Through many disappointingnot yets? and months waiting, they remained so full of faith and hope. And then, in His perfect timing, the right situation crossed their path? Every closed door had a purpose to lead them to their son.Heidi shares more about all God taught them through the process below.
THROUGH OUR ADOPTION PROCESS, WE LEARNED THAT ALL WE NEEDED WAS HIM! We came to a point in our 3 year journey when we could honestly say, “Lord, we don’t know why it’s taking so long. But, we know that if we never end up adopting, You are enough for us!” We learned to trust God’s timing, attention to detail, provision, and perfect adoption plan for our family. Our adoption didn’t happen when or how we expected, yet we knew as long as we were trusting and aligned with Him, we would be on an adventure that would bring Him glory and honor! It was a wild and crazy ride!
We also learned how focused we were on our family and the “rainbows and unicorns” of adoption. We realized we needed to focus more on the Mom/family that would be making the hardest decision of their life, placing a child with our family to love, raise, and trust that we would stay connected and fulfill our promises to them. We never realized how God was softening our hearts until we met “B” where we saw firsthand what it looked and felt like to place a child in the arms of another family to raise and then leave with empty hands and an empty womb. Being truly ready to love a birth mom well was a journey of maturing, realizing the heart-wrenching side of adoption and how it wasn’t all about us.
IF WE COULD GIVE WORDS OF WISDOM TO ANOTHER ADOPTION FAMILY IT WOULD BE…Fasten your seat belts and hang on! Whether your adoption happens in days or years, it’s going to be wild! Don’t give up even though you’ll be tempted. Trust your gut and your CAC consultant! So many times we were tempted to take the easy road by considering situations with less-than-reputable agencies or presenting to situations that had red flags, but Leah was always gracious and honest with us to stay faithful to what we felt the Lord was desiring for us. We were on quite the roller coaster… so hopeful when we received a situation that we wanted to present to, anxiously waited for the call, crushed with each “Expectant Mom chose another family. I’m so sorry!” As each disappointment subsided, we were filled with the hopeful excitement that the next situation could be “the one.” Two years later, we presented to “B”, talked with her on the phone, were chosen by her the same day and three weeks later held the most perfect little boy in our arms! I had given myself permission to let our love for our adopted child grow over time. I “ugly cried” as I realized how long and hard the wait had been! The first moment I saw him, I was totally and completely in love with him! It was also such a joy to see our big kids falling in love with our little guy, too!!
Also, we want others to know that adoption comes out of loss, heartbreak, and hope. There is no hope without the loss and heartbreak. There cannot be loss and heartbreak without the promise of hope. So often adoptive parents are so focused on themselves and the idea of what another woman can give them, instead of slipping into her shoes and grieving with her, crying with her, fulfilling promises to her, and choosing everyday to remember her as your silent partner in daily loving the child that connects you both.
We ADORE our son’s first mom!! She is smart and articulate, beautiful and thoughtful, and loves this boy we both call son with every fiber of her being! She and I are the same age, and after talking to her on the phone (before she chose us), I remember thinking she was someone I could sit on the other end of a sofa with and talk to for hours! We have an open relationship with her, send pictures and videos weekly through text, update letters and pictures through the mail monthly. We are looking forward to seeing her this fall and at least once yearly for many, many years to come! I can honestly say I am excited to see her hold “B” again and meet her family!
IT WAS ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT WE FOUND CAC.??Our experience with Leah and CAC was nothing short of wonderful and amazing! We came to CAC when the Christian adoption agency we had been with for a year stopped doing domestic adoptions and gave us the option of starting over with an international adoption or closing our file with them. But, they wouldn’t release our home study so we could start over with another agency. We felt defeated, powerless, and stuck.
CAC’s executive director Malcolm tried everything he could to help us get our home study – that went on for days! In the end we still didn’t have our home study, but I had confidence in CAC that they would help us through our process with professionalism and grace. I wish we had started with CAC the first day of our adoption journey! They were like a breath of fresh air after a rainy day!
Leah was with us every step of the way! She helped us emotionally heal from our wasted first year with the previous agency. She crafted our family profile book, found a social worker in our state that would do our second home study and release it to us, encouraged us to stay the course and keep praying about our adoption, even supported us as we moved across the country and had to get yet another home study! In short, she continued to point us back to Jesus, to the stirring we felt and reminded us that our “perfect yes” would come in God’s perfect timing. And it did!!
Congratulations, Tony and Heidi! It was truly an honor to walk through this process with you and glean all He was teaching you (and me) about His faithfulness to complete what He starts in our hearts!
Considering adoption? I would love to chat with you more about working with CAC! Email me at Leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com for more information!