One of my favorite parts of family’s adoption journeys is the chance to look back at all of the ways God was working behind the scenes when we couldn’t see it in the midst of the wait.
When Stacey and Jené were home study approved, they had no idea that just days later their son would be born. They didn’t learn of him for several weeks, but God did a lot of work in their hearts while they waited for this little guy who would soon be their son.
Today Jené shares the details of their adoption and the ways they were challenged to rest and trust in God’s perfect timing.
We started the process knowing and believing God already knew what our adoption journey would be, the expecting family with whom we would be matched, and the baby that would be our son or daughter. God has shown us many times that His timing is perfect, and we knew that was true for adoption too.
My brother passed away from cancer in 2014; he never asked God “Why?” but would tell our family “God’s got a plan.” This is something that continues to speak to us. We kept our hearts open and trusted that God had a plan, and He would match us with the family and baby meant to be and in His timing. Our faith gave us comfort and peace, but was also tested, especially during those times when doubt and questioning started to creep.
Once we became active with agencies, there would be weeks we would get several situations. Then, we would go weeks without any. We prayerfully considered each situation and listened to our hearts and gut. When we presented to an expecting family, that was our “yes” and full commitment to that family and that baby-not something we took lightly. I would question if we were finding reasons to not present to expecting families or being too “picky.” Then, we would go weeks without getting a situation, and we started to question and get nervous about when we would get the opportunity to present to a family. God’s timing is perfect, and He has a plan.
We received our son’s situation when we had two dear friends over for dinner; one of those friends is an adoptee who has been open and supportive from the first time we talked about our desire to adopt. From this moment we felt God working. Our son was three weeks old and in cradle care (15 minutes from where we live) when we received the situation. We didn’t have a lot of information, but we knew he was a healthy baby boy. We presented to his birth mother, and a few days later, Stacey woke me up at 12:30 AM and said, “I guess I can start calling you ‘Mom.'” We got an email at midnight to let us know our son’s birth mom chose us. Neither of us slept the rest of the night.
The following four weeks were probably the most challenging and filled with the widest range of emotions! The appointment for our son’s birth mother to sign was rescheduled many times. Each time our anticipation would grow as it got closer. Then, we would get a text to let us know the appointment was canceled. It was an emotional roller coaster for us, but we couldn’t even imagine everything our son’s birth mother was going through. Even though it was difficult, we respected her choice to take the time she needed to make such an important decision. After a month of being in cradle care, our son was finally placed with us. All of the frustration, doubt, fear we felt melted away when we got to hold our son.
We were blessed with our beautiful red-headed, blue-eyed boy. We were blessed by our son’s birth mother-the amazing woman who chose us to love her son forever. We were also blessed with two people who walked beside us through this journey who supported, encouraged, validated our feelings, brought us back to reality, were patient, and always available to listen and to share their wisdom and all with no judgement, Susan with Christian Adoption Consultants and our friend, Becca, who connected us to CAC and Susan in the beginning. Susan, Becca, along with the adoption agency will always have a special place in our hearts as God used each one in growing our family and bringing our son home.