I remember the first time I talked with Jonathan and Alyssa and got to listen to their story and heart for adoption. They approached adoption with much thought, care, education, and love. They leaned into the realities of what walking the adoption journey would require of them. The honor of coming alongside them through the highs and lows was a privilege. Even when their story took a turn they were not expecting, they landed with love, open hands, and a fully open heart. Little did we know that this openness would lead them to their daughter, who would complete their family and bring more amounts of love and joy than ever thought possible. I am so grateful to have watched their journey unfold, and I am so excited to share a little bit of it with you today! Alyssa shares below:
God placed in my heart the desire to adopt when I was in my early 20s. Little did I know then that my husband and I would struggle with infertility for almost 8 years. The week we planned to call an adoption agency, we discovered that I was pregnant after several years of working to heal my body naturally and optimize my fertility. Not long after I held my blue-eyed baby in my arms, my heart started to ache for another—the one that God had placed in my heart many years earlier.
Walking Through A Failed/Interrupted Adoption
Our son Gideon was 9 months old when we had our first phone call with our lovely consultant Fallon. Our home study was completed in November 2020, and we were quickly matched at the beginning of the next year. I had recently weaned my son and decided to relactate for our future child. I spent over 4 months pumping and praying for the precious baby boy who would be entering our family. The day before my birthday and two weeks before his due date, his mama changed her mind and decided she could not proceed with the adoption. At that moment, I knew he was never meant to be ours, but it did not lessen the pain, the grief, or the feelings of loss.
I continued to pump for a couple more months, but situations became infrequent during that time, and I was wearing down emotionally. I finally surrendered it all to Jesus and donated a good amount of milk to a mama who really needed it. The mix of not pumping anymore, the failed adoption, and hormonal changes caused me to fall into a dark black hole. I felt severely fatigued and weepy during that time. We also presented to a handful of other situations and were told “no” each time.
God Gives Us What We Need Day By Day
I think this is why God does not allow us to see the details of the future because if He did, we might be overwhelmed and want to give up. Instead, He gives us His grace to walk with Him day by day through all of the ups and downs and for the long haul. I know there are many of you still in the “waiting”. The crazy thing about waiting is that it is not stagnant. In fact, the very opposite. Waiting is proactive—putting one step in front of the other and continuing to move forward even when you feel weighed down, tired, frustrated and lost. Sometimes even doubting but also firmly trusting that God is good and He is good to me and you. He who has promised IS faithful and it is the testing of our faith that develops perseverance.
Six months after our failed match, we received the call. A mom was in the hospital only a couple weeks away from her due date. We were given very little information and told that we needed to decide whether to present within the hour. My husband was hesitant, but my heart was open to any possibility at that point. I called our contact back and said, “If it is not too late, we would like to present.” And she responded, “Great! I had the social worker bring your profile book over, just in case.”
God’s “Yes” For Our Family
The next day, we received the call that she had chosen us. I wept with joy but also knew that this was only the beginning of the next stage in the wild ride of adoption. Within a couple weeks we packed up our bags, arranged for my husband’s parents to come stay with our son and drove out to meet our daughter’s birth mom. We were able to spend several hours chatting with her before she went into C-section and asked for me to be there with her.
I will never forget the moment the doctor held up our precious baby girl and said “here she is!” The stories of how my babies entered this world could not be more different from each other but they were both long awaited for and they fill my heart to overflowing.
If you’re thinking about adoption and wondering if you could love a child like your own biological child, I’m here to tell you that it is absolutely possible—even instinctual. I loved him before I knew him, and I loved her before I knew her, and I will never forget the moments I laid eyes on them for the very first time. I did not know my heart was capable of such a love.
Adoption is not for the faint of heart, but I will tell you this— I would do it all over again. Our daughter, August Madelyn, is the most precious gift God (and her birth mom) could ever give us. It may not seem fair that some of our journeys to parenthood are harder than others, but when you hold your babies in your arms, you know it was all well worth it.
***We provide the following adoption services here at Christian Adoption Consultants: Embryo Adoption, Domestic Adoption & International Adoption. If you are interested in learning more about the programs we offer, you can request an informational packet here, as well as set up a FREE 30-minute consultation with one of our team members and join our free adoption community!
We look forward to hearing from you!***