When you hear those hard words, “She chose another family,” it’s difficult not to take it personally. Doubts can easily creep in. “Will we ever be chosen? Are we too old? Is there something wrong with us?” Continuing to wait on God’s timing without giving up during the wait is just plain hard. I’m so very glad that Chris and Victoria held on and kept believing that God knew what He was doing. When I think back on their adoption journey with Christian Adoption Consultants, what most stands out in my mind is the incredible and beautiful open adoption God formed. From the moment that they heard about their son, they not only opened their hearts to him, but opened their hearts to his entire birth family as well. I’m so grateful to Victoria for being willing to share their story below:
Adoption can be scary and overwhelming at times but it is all worth it in the end! All the moments of uncertainty, doubt, and anxiousness from the journey just become a memory when we finally met our son. When you fall in love with your child, you will truly forget about the struggle and long journey it took to bring you together. If you’re considering adoption, I want to encourage you: everything you endure is all worth it, so do not lose hope or give up on your dreams. Each person’s journey will be different. As you’re waiting to be matched, remember, God is working! Maybe you haven’t been chosen yet because the child God has for you has not yet been born.
I know my son was chosen for us by God. We heard about our son 3 months after he was born. When we were chosen we found out that his biological mother had named him “William.” We knew it was meant to be! You see, this was the name we had planned to name our son all along (if we ever had one) because it was my deceased father’s name. Coincidence? No! It was clearly God’s doing. We are so thankful that God brought us together and for the beautiful relationship we have with his birth family.
For years we were skeptical of an open adoption. Frankly, that probably stopped us for many years with proceeding with the adoption process at all. It was scary and intimidating to me because I didn’t know what to expect. However, after taking classes for our home study and learning more, openness started to be less scary. My extreme desire to have another child trumped any other reservations I had. Once we met our son’s birth family, the sense of gratitude just overwhelmed me. If it wasn’t for them picking us, I would not be holding this precious child.
We could not thank them enough. I have nothing but gratitude towards our son’s biological parents and family. They did one of the hardest and selfless acts that one can do by choosing to place their child for adoption. I can’t fathom how hard that was for them. I will forever be thankful and grateful that they chose us to be his forever family. Since adopting William, we have stayed in touch with texting, pictures and annually seeing the whole extended family. We have been down to Florida a few times and they have visited us as well. They send Christmas, birthday and Easter presents. Now, three years later, there is still a very deep sense of gratitude in my heart for them and I honestly don’t see this feeling ever changing. We believe that the open adoption will make it a more natural way of explaining his adoption story to him. Throughout his childhood he will never wonder who his biological family is, or where he was born. We see open adoption as a win-win for everyone but especially for my son because he is loved by so many.
I would highly recommend Katie Fenska with Christian Adoption consultants because she always believed God had a plan for us and convinced us to never lose hope. She stayed positive when I had terrible doubts and fears of never being chosen because of our age. She never once felt that age was an obstacle and convinced me there were many positives to being an older mom that expectant moms would appreciate. She stayed in contact regularly, and always prayed for us during the waiting time. At one point, when we were almost ready to give up, she reassured me that God had a plan and urged us to hang in there. Miraculously, we received the call a week later that we were chosen. Katie was compassionate, caring, insightful, spiritual and positive throughout the whole journey. If anyone is thinking of adopting, I would highly recommend working with Katie! She will have your best interest at heart and put all your doubts and fears to rest.