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Adoption Story: Brent + Leslie

June 10, 2020 By Katie Fenska

One of my favorite things about being an adoption consultant with CAC is getting a front row seat to the deep work of faith growth that God regularly does in hearts along the way. It inevitably challenges and strengthens my own faith as I watch God speaking to the adoptive parents that I work with. Now about three years after Brent and Leslie brought home their daughter, I continue to give thanks for the ways they sought God in the midst of questions and difficulty. Leslie reflects back on their adoption journey:

Never say never. I vividly remember sitting in our church around ten years ago listening to a visiting pastor talk about he and his wife’s adoption story. I thought to myself and even told my husband that adoption was just something I could never do.

Fast forward some years and a house full of boys later….after experiencing complications in my pregnancy that made any further pregnancy extremely risky, we knew that God closed that door so that we could see Him swinging the one to adoption wide open.


Thus beginning our adoption story, that was nothing like I had planned, but thanks to the faithfulness of God exactly what we needed- both in the journey and the result.


To be very honest, when we started the process my “plan and expectation” was that we would be matched extremely quickly with the momma of a baby girl who would want a semi-open to closed adoption, and I would have leaned more in the direction of closed.


And then God… 


First, during our home study process God used the experiences that adult adoptees shared to begin to crack open my mind and help me see the benefit in open adoptions. My heart began to change and we began to present to a wide array of situations, expecting to match quickly. And then we got one “no,” then two, and then three. And then we got a “YES!” We were so so excited! A baby girl due to be born in 10 weeks. We made our plans, began to buy plane tickets and book our lodging. A week later we got the call that everyone fears. She had changed her mind. Failed adoption.


We all just cried together and suddenly, my oldest stood up and yelled out, “WHY?!?!? Why did she change her mind? I wanted that baby girl so much! I WOULD DIE TO HAVE HER!” And in THAT moment, I knew the heart of Jesus like I had not known before. His willingness to go to the cross so that He could have us in eternity with Him.


A failed adoption was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but one of the most teaching. It was through that experience that I drew closer to God than maybe ever before. He wouldn’t “waste” this trial. He would turn it for our good and His glory! We were totally reliant like we never were before, because this deep DEEP longing for a daughter was FULLY dependent upon His provision of her. And so I would sit praying with both desperation and expectation. Waking up every day and think, “Is today the day?” Presenting to situation after situation, both forcing myself to be vulnerable enough to risk the heartache of another “no” again, and trusting the Lord enough to wait on Him. They were long, hard, faith testing days.


This was the time when we saw the infinite value of having Katie!!! It was beyond words helpful to have someone who had both walked the adoption path themselves, but also walked it with so many others. She had watched and could testify about the faithfulness of God in people’s story- EVEN in the hardest times. She sent me articles and books to read, one with the quote I will never forget—“That which makes us pray more, is for our good.” She was many times our Godsend, working as His hands and feet to make sure we kept our focus on Him. I don’t know how we could have done it without her!!!


And then one day Katie called. She was calling about a situation that was complex. There were some medical unknowns, even some potential concerns, and the financial situation would be more of a stretch for us than we had planned it to be. We got some more information about it and decided to present. And then it was silence for days. Late on a Saturday night, on our 11th anniversary, we got a call saying it was a YES!!!! Baby girl was due in 20 days!


At the hospital, we watched as her birth parents held and kissed her in awe and love. The time we had getting to know them more was incredible. And then, the next day, a tiny, beautiful, 5lb 4oz baby girl was now our daughter. Our baby girl! All our waiting, all the heartache, all the unknowns, it was all worth it at that moment. She was ours. God had given us this amazing gift. A daughter!


And it was simply all God. All of it. Him changing our hearts towards open adoption. Him closing all the doors to all of the other situations. Him allowing the failure, to create in our hearts a longing for a daughter so that we would consider a situation that we might not have otherwise. Him bringing us to this family, to this beautiful baby girl. All of it was God and may it all be for His glory! Always! 
I cannot even believe we have a little girl who is almost three.  She is a beautiful, spunky, sweet, opinionated little thing, who we love more than words can express!  She truly has completed us! 

 
And now, almost three years later, our continued experience with open adoption continues to be a complete blessing!  We have a closed Facebook page with her birth mom and dad, her birth grandmother, two aunts, and one uncle and we share pictures and videos, which allows them all to watch her grow.  We FaceTime with her birth mom every six months or so at least, but we message back and forth weekly.  Upon occasion, we are able to message with others in the group as well! I know this will be SUCH an important thing for our daughter as she grows, understands more about adoption, and can know more about her birth family.  What I once feared, is something I now cherish so deeply and am forever grateful for! 
For CAC’s free Adoptive Parent Information Packet and more info about domestic adoption please contact me at katief@christianadoptionconsultants.com!
Originally posted on Katie F.’s (CAC Adoption Consultant) blog.

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"I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adop "I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adoption story with you today! I was introduced to this precious couple by one of my other sweet CAC families. When their home study and profile were done, they were ready to start presenting to situations. My heart ached every single time I had to send them an email that said, 'I’m so sorry. The expectant mother has decided to move forward with another family.' I knew their story. I knew their heart. I knew everything that they had been through and it broke my heart to deliver this news each time. But they never gave up. They continued pressing forward through their fears, doubts, questions- and a pandemic! Their story has been an inspiration to me and I know many others. Today, they share the story that led them to their baby boy." - CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, an Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world? There are many aspects of our services that set us apart, but today we wanted to touch on our professional and personal experience. Since 2006 we have assisted over 3,300 families with successful adoptions. CAC not only has a collective team of adoptive parents (45 children between the entire team), but also adoption professionals with over 120 years of combined experience. Our staff also includes a licensed and practicing social worker with 20+ years of experience, 2 birth parents, and an adoptee with birth parent and adoptee consultations as part of our services. ⁣
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If you are interested in receiving a FREE adoption packet, click on the link in our bio! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣
"When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I "When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I know I'm about to see the sweetest baby face and an update with how things are going. Just today I got a video filled with baby giggles, adoring siblings, and a family who grew from five to six in seven months. Jenny shares today about their adoption and specifically their experience working with Christian Adoption Consultants." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light ca "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ⁣⁣
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Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May his words compel us every day to reflect God’s heart of love for all people. Lord, grow us, humble us, change us that all may see one another as image bearers of God.⁣
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful poem entitled, "Trees." @shabbysnap 
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𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬⁣⁣
𝘉𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩⁣⁣
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Funny how long they live⁣
Sending branches upward in heaves⁣
Reminding us of how we ought to be⁣
Relying on strength and agility⁣
In storms that swirl and pound and break⁣
Outward limbs, sometimes shake⁣
Seasons show upon their face⁣
Animals take rest in the shade⁣
Breath we take, exhaled for granted ⁣
Fruit they give freely, always enchanted ⁣
Though they watch and keep an eye⁣
On our life, just standing by⁣
Supplies provided, home to dwell⁣
Glory scattered in fall’s carnival⁣
Outlast, but never giving in⁣
Carrying us to the grave again⁣
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"The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers'' (Psalm 104:16-17).⁣⁣
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"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place" (Proverbs 3:17-19).⁣⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣⁣
This afternoon we have another adoption story over This afternoon we have another adoption story over on our blog. We pray it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! "Did we hear God wrong? It's easy to second guess your adoption plans when you're in the middle of the process; in the trenches of the wait. Sometimes even easy to second guess your faith and your ability to clearly hear God's call. But I've learned that God is always at work, even when we can't see it. Chris and Jen had these questions and decided to give up their plans for growing their family through adoption. And that's exactly the time they received a call about their son. Today Jen shares the questions, and the answers, that led them to their family of two growing to three." - CAC Adoption Consultants Susan @svansyckle ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Expectations. They can kind of make us or break u "Expectations. They can kind of make us or break us, can’t they? As I’ve walked with many people through their adoption journeys, I’ve seen families crushed by unrealistic expectations and I’ve seen families beautifully hope in God as they’ve surrendered their expectations to Him. So what does it look like to have reasonable expectations during your adoption and specifically as you work with an adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants? What does it look like for adoption expectations to 'make you' rather than 'break you?'" -CAC Adoption Consultant Katie F. @katiefenska ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We have another adoption story on the blog this ev We have another adoption story on the blog this evening! "It was an honor to walk with Jamey and Sydnee through their adoption journey. When we first connected I remember Sydnee opening up about their long journey through infertility and loss. She shared her heart and about the journey that led them to this specific place and time. She also shared some of their fears with me about the adoption process, one of them being too old' to be desirable to an expectant mother. As she was talking I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm so glad that God connected my path to these amazing people and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for them.' Their journey through the adoption process wasn't easy, but that same journey, the one with ups and downs, the one with disappointment, the one with waiting, led them to their daughter and I know they wouldn't change a thing about it. Jamey and Sydnee, thank you for allowing me to walk with you through the adoption process. I am beyond amazed at the story God wrote for your family! Today Sydnee shares that story..." -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
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