What are the steps to adoption? How do we create our profile? How do we make decisions about openness? How long will the wait be? Will we go through an interrupted adoption? There are dozens of good questions hopeful adoptive families have during the adoption process. But there’s some questions that are often whispered in secret, in the midst of the long wait, when a couple will ask, “Is this worth it? Are we on the right track? Did we get it wrong when we heard from God?”
Today Dan and Amanda share their journey, along with their questions in the midst of the process. How they were unsure they should continue but are so thankful they did. Because their response to was is worth itturned out to be a resounding YES when they met their daughter.
We always hoped adoption would be a part of our story one day. Honestly, we didn’t think it would happen as early in our life, but boy are we tremendously grateful that it did. After having our son, we prayed God would bless us with another baby. After struggling with infertility, we weren’t sure what direction God was leading us. It was times like these where I was so thankful for prayer. So thankful we have a God who is there to listen to us and comfort us in times of uncertainty and heartache. Dan and I spent several weeks in prayer, and we felt Him leading us to adoption.
We started with Christian Adoption Consultants in February 2022, began doing our home study, and preparing our home, as well as our hearts for whatever baby we would be bringing into our home. Being the planner that I am, the wait was hard. The not knowing who, when, or where was something I really had to work through. “Let go and let God” was a phrase I repeated constantly. Several cases went by, and we never got a “yes.” Of course, when we were not prepared for a “yes” was exactly when we got one.
We had arrived to visit Dan’s family for Thanksgiving. We had not been there for 24 hours before we got a call from an agency saying that a baby girl had been born. It was at that moment we needed to drop everything and go halfway across the country to get her. We were completely unprepared, but of course, we made it work! The next morning, we hopped on a plane, not ready for what was to come next. Another “not yet” happened again. This mama decided to parent her baby girl and we were told that we could head home. I felt broken. The thought that we were right there, in a hotel across the street from the hospital, bags full of baby items, only to go home with an empty car seat was overwhelming. Dan and I sat in silence for a while and I sat at dinner that night with tears hitting my plate.
But while we were hurting, God was at work. Our agency let us know there was another situation: a baby due in a few weeks. Not only was this baby due soon, but baby was also going to be born less than an hour from our home. We were so excited this could be the baby we could be hopeful for. To be honest, after our previous interrupted adoption, it was difficult for doubt to not enter in. Do I let myself get excited? Do I have everything ready to go? What if things fall through again? I told our consultant, Susan, we were trying to be cautiously optimistic and that this was another time where we could do nothing but lean on God, trust in Him, and leave it in His hands.
Weeks went by and our agency reassured us the likelihood of this case falling through was slim. One night our dog was sick, I told Dan, “I should take him to the vet just in case this baby comes tomorrow”. I learned my lesson from being so unprepared when we were out of town. Sure enough, we got a call saying birth mom was in labor! We spent all night checking our phones, waiting, and waiting for an update. The next day, our baby girl was born. It took several hours for the hospital to add us to the visitor list so we could go meet her.
Once we were there, meeting our sweet daughter face to face, we knew the wait had been so worth it. The months of waiting, the paperwork, the “no’s,” the tears shed; they were all worth it for this one moment. The moment where the nurses brought us to an area where we could sit and hold our daughter for the first time. I had thought of this moment so many times. She was perfect. God’s plan and timing was perfect.
We have now been a family of four for a month. It has been the best month I could have imagined. It has been a joy to watch our son with his baby sister. When I am rocking her to sleep in the middle of the night, I just sit there and reflect on the last couple of years that led us to where we are now. Struggling through fertility treatments, to starting the adoption process, to hearing several no’s from other cases, led us here. God led us here. He knew EXACTLY where we were headed. He knew that our baby girl was always meant for us, and for that, we are eternally grateful.