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A Love Letter To My Real Son

February 5, 2020 By Susan VanSyckle

In 2016 one of our former CAC families, Natalie, shared a beautiful love letter she wrote to her son. Loren and Natalie had a crazy adoption journey. Heartbreak, infertility, loss, surprise pregnancy, and an unexpected move to a new state all in a matter of months. And then God asked them to step into what looked like an impossible situation with a little guy who needed a family. Her letter expresses the unconditional and relentless love that a mother has for her son.

My dear sweet son,

There are no words that can adequately articulate the Mama-heart you have brought out in me. And what a blessing that is, you are, to me. To your dad. To this family. You have knit us closer as a family, bringing our souls more intimacy as a unit; God put it in our hearts to be a family for children, but it seems as though He has used you much more in our lives than us in yours. We are often in awe of the unending, unconditional, ceaseless love that has been poured into us to cover you – this is something your dad and I talk about regularly. We enjoy watching you grow and develop; we are so proud of you each day for many reasons, and even when there is reason to be annoyed or irritated (example: when you are screaming and we cannot figure out why, when we suddenly need to spend 5 days in the hospital, when it takes us 3 hours to do what should take 15 minutes, or for whatever reason people get mad at newborns) we are overtaken by such wonder that you are ours, any irritation is diminished. You mean the world to us.

Your smile makes us smile. Your coos bring us overpowering delight. When your little fingers wrap around mine, my heart swoons and I stop all things to make sweet eye contact with you. We do a lot of just staring at you, even when it is 2 am and you are asleep and we should be to…you are simply our treasure. You, as a whole, add tremendous joy to our life.

Your dad plays Murder In The City for you daily, telling you it’s our song because of this specific line: “Always remember there is nothing worth sharing, Like the love that let us share our name.” Swoon.

Sage, you are my son. My very real son. And I pray you never forget that. I pray that if you come to a place in your journey where you wonder and you doubt and you are asking hard and valid questions about your identity, that you know deep inside you are our very real son. When people say ignorant things, which they have and will because we all do, when people equate biology to the sole factor in creating “real” families I pray you know deeper than your flesh that you are our real son.

 

We are not just playing house over here.

“Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart – but in it.”
-Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Yes, you grew in our hearts so-to-speak, but you also literally grew in another mommy’s tummy. Your First Mama. She is real, just as I am real. She carried you for nearly 9 months, feeling your loving pokes and prods, your wiggles and your dances. She saw you on the ultra sound screen and she delivered you to this world through her body. And then she placed you in our arms, entrusting us with her most precious gift: you. She has sacrificed an overwhelming amount for you, because Real Moms sacrifice for their Real Kids. You, my boy, have two Real Moms. I am the one who has the privilege of raising and parenting you, and I do not carry that responsibility and honor flippantly.

Sage. In the next ten to eleven weeks, you will become a visible “big brother.” Your little brother, whom you have been sitting on and being kicked by since you were 2 days old, is going to enter our home and we want to be clear: you are just as much our REAL son as he is. He is our son, you are our son, both and together you are our real boys. No matter what. Your sonship to us is irreversible, just as his is.

Your dad and I are in such bewilderment at the love we have for you, we are so curious how God is going to expand our hearts even more for your brother. And your future siblings.

The expansion of a parent’s heart is a mystery to me, but I am convinced He is in the business of Love.

You are real brothers. There is no fake or pretending. Your skin, hair, and eyes may be different from one another, your DNA may not match, but we know that resemblance and biology is not the only way to create a family. A real family. We are a real family, you are our real son, and you boys are real brothers. So if you hear people ask us or if people ask you if you are our “real son” or if you are “real brothers,” you can say with all of the confidence in the world “YES!” There need be no further explanation if you don’t feel like it: you have freedom to be confident and bold in your place as our real son. Our first born son.

I pray we raise you with the understanding that God’s grace and relentless love for you is far greater than biology. That He is the Father of adoption, the Creator of family, the King of redemption. He did not birth you or us, but we are each very much His real sons and daughters. He has paved the way and made “family” possible.
 

I love you, Sage. Forever and for always and no matter what,

Your Mama

To follow along Natalie Kristeen’s journey you can visit her blog. 

Originally posted on Susan’s (CAC Adoption Consultant) blog. 

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"I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adop "I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adoption story with you today! I was introduced to this precious couple by one of my other sweet CAC families. When their home study and profile were done, they were ready to start presenting to situations. My heart ached every single time I had to send them an email that said, 'I’m so sorry. The expectant mother has decided to move forward with another family.' I knew their story. I knew their heart. I knew everything that they had been through and it broke my heart to deliver this news each time. But they never gave up. They continued pressing forward through their fears, doubts, questions- and a pandemic! Their story has been an inspiration to me and I know many others. Today, they share the story that led them to their baby boy." - CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, an Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world? There are many aspects of our services that set us apart, but today we wanted to touch on our professional and personal experience. Since 2006 we have assisted over 3,300 families with successful adoptions. CAC not only has a collective team of adoptive parents (45 children between the entire team), but also adoption professionals with over 120 years of combined experience. Our staff also includes a licensed and practicing social worker with 20+ years of experience, 2 birth parents, and an adoptee with birth parent and adoptee consultations as part of our services. ⁣
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If you are interested in receiving a FREE adoption packet, click on the link in our bio! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣
"When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I "When my phone lights up with a text from Jenny, I know I'm about to see the sweetest baby face and an update with how things are going. Just today I got a video filled with baby giggles, adoring siblings, and a family who grew from five to six in seven months. Jenny shares today about their adoption and specifically their experience working with Christian Adoption Consultants." -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light ca "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ⁣⁣
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Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. May his words compel us every day to reflect God’s heart of love for all people. Lord, grow us, humble us, change us that all may see one another as image bearers of God.⁣
Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lo Tonight CAC Adoption Advocate and Birth Mother, Lori, shares a beautiful poem entitled, "Trees." @shabbysnap 
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𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬⁣⁣
𝘉𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘋𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘤𝘩⁣⁣
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Funny how long they live⁣
Sending branches upward in heaves⁣
Reminding us of how we ought to be⁣
Relying on strength and agility⁣
In storms that swirl and pound and break⁣
Outward limbs, sometimes shake⁣
Seasons show upon their face⁣
Animals take rest in the shade⁣
Breath we take, exhaled for granted ⁣
Fruit they give freely, always enchanted ⁣
Though they watch and keep an eye⁣
On our life, just standing by⁣
Supplies provided, home to dwell⁣
Glory scattered in fall’s carnival⁣
Outlast, but never giving in⁣
Carrying us to the grave again⁣
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"The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers'' (Psalm 104:16-17).⁣⁣
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"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place" (Proverbs 3:17-19).⁣⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption⁣⁣
This afternoon we have another adoption story over This afternoon we have another adoption story over on our blog. We pray it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! "Did we hear God wrong? It's easy to second guess your adoption plans when you're in the middle of the process; in the trenches of the wait. Sometimes even easy to second guess your faith and your ability to clearly hear God's call. But I've learned that God is always at work, even when we can't see it. Chris and Jen had these questions and decided to give up their plans for growing their family through adoption. And that's exactly the time they received a call about their son. Today Jen shares the questions, and the answers, that led them to their family of two growing to three." - CAC Adoption Consultants Susan @svansyckle ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
"Expectations. They can kind of make us or break u "Expectations. They can kind of make us or break us, can’t they? As I’ve walked with many people through their adoption journeys, I’ve seen families crushed by unrealistic expectations and I’ve seen families beautifully hope in God as they’ve surrendered their expectations to Him. So what does it look like to have reasonable expectations during your adoption and specifically as you work with an adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants? What does it look like for adoption expectations to 'make you' rather than 'break you?'" -CAC Adoption Consultant Katie F. @katiefenska ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
We have another adoption story on the blog this ev We have another adoption story on the blog this evening! "It was an honor to walk with Jamey and Sydnee through their adoption journey. When we first connected I remember Sydnee opening up about their long journey through infertility and loss. She shared her heart and about the journey that led them to this specific place and time. She also shared some of their fears with me about the adoption process, one of them being too old' to be desirable to an expectant mother. As she was talking I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm so glad that God connected my path to these amazing people and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for them.' Their journey through the adoption process wasn't easy, but that same journey, the one with ups and downs, the one with disappointment, the one with waiting, led them to their daughter and I know they wouldn't change a thing about it. Jamey and Sydnee, thank you for allowing me to walk with you through the adoption process. I am beyond amazed at the story God wrote for your family! Today Sydnee shares that story..." -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
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