• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Looking for something?

Let´s get in touch

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Christian Adoption Consultants

Helping Couples on Their Adoption Journey

  • ABOUT
    • OUR FOUNDERS
    • OUR STATS
    • WHY HIRE A CONSULTANT?
  • SUPPORT TEAM
  • Consulting Services
  • Profile Design Services
  • Happy Clients
  • Blog
  • Contact Us

What I Wish You Knew About Adoption and Infertility {Part 3}

May 9, 2018 By Jonnilyn Spinks

What I Wish You Knew About Adoption and Infertility {Part 3}

We’ve spent the week engaging the conversation about adoption and infertility; the pain that comes with infertility and how others add to the pain. As an adoption consultant, I work with families every day that let me into their story; they share their loss and heartbreak. They share their struggle. And today they are sharing here about their choice to adopt.

 

Adoption is not something that everyone that is infertile is called by God to do. It is something you need to discern just like a fertile person would discern it.  – Lisa
 
Adoption doesn’t cure infertility. It cures childlessness.  – Stacey
Despite what your doctors, close friends/family, and much of society will recommend, you don’t NEED to pursue every treatment for infertility before turning to adoption. Adoption is not a 2nd choice or plan B. Your adopted child will be “your own.”  – Meagan
If you did seek infertility treatments prior to adoption, you really need to fully grieve the loss before committing yourself to adoption…adoption is NOT a plan b, but one can feel it is if they don’t free themselves from the pain of infertility first.  – Carrie
I…wish people knew that when a family decides to pursue adoption, they have discussed it in great detail. They didn’t think “let’s just adopt” they prayed, they had long conversations and prayed some more. A family’s infertility will never go away just because they have chosen the path of adoption…the loss and hurt will always be there in some way.  – Amy
 
For me, adoption isn’t about replacing my son (as some have been bold enough to say). It’s about feeling such a depth of love that I had never felt before, such a passion, and knowing that love could be shared with another child. Our capacity to love was shown to me through our son. I knew my son would want for us to love another child, and that it was meant to be through adoption.  – Andrea
 
After our infertility struggles and miscarriages, we felt God leading us to adoption. We waited until we knew that we knew it was God and not us trying to “make” parenthood happen for us. We didn’t really hear Him with clarity until He had helped us heal from our painful previous endeavors. Once we heard Him clearly, we had mourned the way we thought we would become parents, which helped us quickly see how adoption was NOT a Plan B but God’s original plan for us all along!  – Debbie 
It’s such a hard road – we were never able to get pregnant regardless of pills, shots, and trials…Painful to remember, yes- but one day it WILL NOT DEFINE US. We have been defined for almost 10 years as the poor [family] who can’t get pregnant – little did we know we couldn’t because our perfect family was not created from my uterus, and I am now a-okay with that!   – Kristin
With infertility, you may never lose the desire to wonder what being pregnant would be like even if you are mommy thru the miracle of adoption and that is perfectly normal. Also, it is ok if everyone in your life does not understand your decision to adopt, it is not their journey to make sense of, it is yours.   – Amanda
We did not have a long infertility battle, but it was intense. [After completing four IVF cycles] we did not know if we wanted to go through the financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual journey again. We decided to put it on God’s shelf. He will either tug our hearts back to try again, or He will not. We put it all in His hands. We decided to concentrate on our adoption journey, knowing we were going to adopt no matter what. God gave us a very strong desire to have children, and we know He is not a cruel God. We know that He would not give us the desire if we were not going to be parents somehow. We know it is not how we become parents that matter, it is that we become parents. I don’t guarantee that we will not try again at some point, but I know God has given us the strong tug in our hearts to adopt right now. I can’t wait to see His plan for us.  – Heather
I wish I would have known that it was ok to take the time to grieve our story not turning out how I thought it would. I wish I had known that it’s ok to feel the hurt of secondary infertility just as much as the first time. I felt so guilty for wanting another child when we already had our son. But a friend told me, “your family is incomplete whether it’s by one child or two children, it’s still incomplete.”  – Ashley
The heartache was so overwhelming in the middle of our IVF treatments and the final negative pregnancy test was one if the worst days of my life…. It all seems like such a distant memory and such a small part of my life since we brought our [daughter] home ! There are still a few times of sadness , but I am shocked how all consuming the sadness was and how quickly it vanished once we held our [daughter] for the first time.  – Becca
We would not have [our daughter] if we didn’t have our infertility and our losses. If we had been pregnant either naturally or with IVF first, we likely would not have opened our hearts to adoption. So I would not exchange our infertility battles for the world because they brought me my most perfect first daughter. So in that vein, while difficult, those hard hard years were the best thing that ever happened to me and my husband.  – Carrie
My friend, Lily, summed up her thoughts on their infertility and adoption journey so perfectly.  Infertility is complicated. Often those on the outside want to reduce it down to a simple “just.” Just do IVF. Just relax and it will happen. Just adopt. It’s easy to miss that infertility is often a catalyst God uses to redirect and refine those going through it, but there is no “just” that will wrap everything up with a neat bow. It’s emotional, messy, and everyone’s story is unique. Not everyone struggling with infertility will do IVF or adopt. Some will do both. We loved the idea of adoption long before we dealt with infertility. But God used infertility to direct out path at the right time for us to adopt our son. Even with the diagnosis of infertility, we never tried IVF because the call on us to adopt became so great and so imperative. Praise God for the timeline he put us on! But we also received some judgement for the way we did things and why we hadn’t “explored every option” before adopting. Even from our fertility doctor. Now, as an adoptive momma, I can tell you that adoption is emotional, messy and everyone’s story will be different. But I also know firsthand the beauty of being part of something that God knit together, and knowing that our infertility was part of a bigger plan He had for us and our son. What was once something I asked God to remove from our lives, is now something I have thanked Him for many times. God’s ways are not our ways.
 
I can’t think of a more beautiful way to talk about adoption and infertility. The beauty that God can make from brokenness when we see our story as a part of His.

Related Posts

  • When You Need to LeapWhen You Need to Leap
  • Adoption Story: Swimming Pool to New BabyAdoption Story: Swimming Pool to New Baby
  • Adoption Story: Jim and LisaAdoption Story: Jim and Lisa
  • Adoption Story: Nicole (and Noah!)Adoption Story: Nicole (and Noah!)

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Jonnilyn Spinks

Jonnilyn has over 5 years agency experience including all aspects of birth/adoptive family care and case management. She has such a strong passion for adoption, as she is an adopted child herself so she has a very unique perspective. Jonnilyn has had the joy of making a very personal part of her life a profession. She attended the State College of Florida and comes from an extensive background in social services. Ultimately, Jonnilyn finds it such an honor and a calling to walk alongside of families in their adoption journey.

Primary Sidebar

Questions?

WE CAN HELP!

WE CAN HELP!

Contact us today for a FREE Adoption Information Packet or to schedule a phone consultation! We can answer your questions and create an adoption plan for you. Ready to take the next step?

Recent Posts

  • Adoption Story: Ryan + Katie
  • Test
  • Adoption Story: Brian + Sara
  • Why CAC?
  • What To Do While You Wait
welcome

WHY HIRE US?

After 3,000 adoptions, we've learned a thing or two. Let us create a custom, individualized adoption plan for you.
LEARN MORE!

Footer

YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

You deserve the best! That’s why we’ve assembled an amazingly talented team that is highly qualified to support you on your adoption journey!

Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world?

LET´S GET IN TOUCH

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
We'd love to hear from you!

info@christianadoptionconsultants.com

Office Hours: Monday-Friday 9-6 EST
Instagram post 2198046518316239025_1343149943 "I spoke to Katie and Ryan for the very first time at the end of November in 2017. They were very warm, friendly and extremely excited about starting the adoption process! They signed on with me at CAC just a few days after our initial call! As Katie will share with you tonight, the journey to their daughter, Nicklyn, wasn’t easy. In addition to the ups and downs that come with the adoption process, they also moved across the country about 7 months after beginning their journey. There were times when they wondered if they were on the right path and if this journey is what the Lord intended for them. But they continued praying, trusting God, and moving forward one step at a time. I’m honored to share their story with you and I’m confident it will be an encouragement to your family!" -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly  @kellybethtodd ***to continue reading this beautiful adoption story click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
.
.
.
.
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionadvice #bettertogether #family #adoptionconsultants #hopingtoadopt #adoptioncommunity #adoptionstories #adoptions 
http://www.christianadoptionconsultants.com/?p=5836
Instagram post 2197315798971146704_1343149943 Timothy and Katie are a CAC family who adopted in 2018 with the help of Adoption Consultant Gretchen. We asked if they had any encouragement to share with families who are currently in the wait and this is what they had to say:⁣
⁣
"Our advice is to remember that in the waiting, the heartbreak and endless paperwork, that God is faithful.  He has a unique story written for your family that may take a while to unfold. Through our long adoption journey, our faith was tested many times yet we continued to believe in His faithfulness.  During many dark days, we clung to Him and each other in prayer.  God knew all along how long the process would take and we just needed to trust that it would work out eventually.  He's faithful!" ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories  #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2196606928527203244_1343149943 "Brian and Sara were referred to us by one of our amazing families, Brandon & Kathryn. They contacted us in mid-March 2019 and signed on with me at Christian Adoption Consultants in early April.  They had previously been licensed through their state’s foster/adoptive care system. They pursued domestic adoption, and God opened a door for them to adopt a precious baby boy from their home state of Iowa three months after their initial contact with me. We pray their story is an encouragement to you wherever you are on your journey!"⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultants Dawn & Jason @dawnflatnesswright @jasondalewright⁣
⁣
***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading this adoption story***⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent  #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2195869752612957024_1343149943 "It's easy to think if you haven't been chosen that there's something 'wrong' with you. There are still age-old ideas that every expectant parent is looking for a specific 'type' of family, but it's simply not true. As unique as each birth mother is, her idea of the 'perfect adoptive family' is just as unique. I don't believe in the idea of a perfect adoptive family. But I've seen over and over again God make a match that is perfect for a birth and adoptive family."⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
⁣
For those of you who have walked through the adoption journey before can you relate? Can you relate to feeling like something was "wrong" with your family when you weren't being chosen? If so, how would you encourage other families who may be experiencing similar thoughts and feelings in their own journey? Comment below and tag a friend who needs a bit of encouragement today in the wait! ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2195158276927472049_1343149943 "I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey. I know from personal experience that the adoption process can seem intimidating, but that’s where Christian Adoption Consultants comes in!"⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
⁣
Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading about why families are choosing CAC to assist them in their adoption journey! ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣ ⁣
⁣
⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2192997480759883754_1343149943 "The hard thing about adoption is there's no due date. Before a match, no social worker can narrow down when your baby will be in your arms. You don't know to buy winter or summer 0-3 month clothes or even if they should be pink or blue. 
This is the point when I've had numerous families say adoption has done for their faith what no other experience has. This waiting stage has couples lean into Jesus in a way they've never experienced before. But what do you do when the busyness of adoption wanes and you're left waiting? " -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan @svansyckle ***to continue reading click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
.
.
.
.
.

#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Instagram post 2192282875947435465_1343149943 "When an expectant mother goes into labor and is admitted into the hospital the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are, most often, notified to make their way to the hospital. Emotions are running high for everyone involved. The expectant mother is giving birth to a baby she's made an adoption plan for and the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are eagerly awaiting the birth of a baby they have prepared to bring home.⁣
At each step of an adoption plan, it is so important for the hopeful adoptive parent(s) to honor the expectant mother. But what does that look like in the hospital setting?"⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Meg @megcac ⁣
***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading***⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2191528544205817968_1343149943 "A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me” (Jodi Landers-Adoptive Mama). ⁣
⁣
At CAC we acknowledge the complexities and juxtapositions of emotions that adoption brings for all parties of the adoption triad (adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents). Adoption can not be defined by one word, phrase or singular emotion. Adoption is beautiful, but it's also hard. Adoption can be filled with joy, but brokenness and loss are there as well. We think there is room for all of these big thoughts and emotions in this space. ⁣
⁣
We would love to hear from all parties of the adoption triad. How do you navigate these contrasting thoughts and feelings in adoption?⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #birthmother #adoptee #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Follow on Instagram
  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions

Copyright © 2019 · Powered by PersistSEO DMCA.com Protection Status