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Will I love this baby the same?

September 26, 2015 By Casey Zaruba

I was having lunch with a friend the other day after our weekly bible study. On Thursday’s Foster and her oldest go to daycare so we only have her little one and we get to have REAL conversation without being over taken with messes, throw downs, near misses, laps full of food and food constantly being stolen off my plate. It is like am mini vacation getting friend, mama time.

She is pregnant with her 3rd and we are paper pregnant with our second so we always have a lot to talk about. We were talking about how large we wanted or dreamt of growing out families and she mentioned that she has recently started thinking about possibly adopting in a few years because Tyler and I have really inspired her. Which by the way is so uplifting to hear, we never decided to adopt to get attention or inspire others but God knew how he wanted us to Glorify Him and I feel so blessed to hear things like that.

She then mentioned how she had briefly talked to her husband about it and he had a few fears about possibly not loving an adopted child the same he would his 3 bio children.

The first thing I told her.

“I hear this ALL THE TIME, this is a normal fear to have.”

If you know about my family then you know I don’t have any biological children, only adopted so I don’t have a personal experience but I know a few friends that do and this is what they had to say…

” I use to be adamant that I love my kids all the exact same. It’s not true for me. It’s a different love. Neither is more or less.”
@eicherumba

“It’s not more, it is different. I have friends who have all biological kids. One with Special needs and the other without. It is a different love when you are kissing the broken pieces of a child and have the weight of those broken pieces in your heart. Yes, I was concerned the love would be more. Yet, I now understand the love is differeny. I don’t feel the love is the exact same. It is deep, it is different and it is beautiful”
@unlockingtheheartodgod

“I always thought people were lying when they said they loved their adopted kids as much as their bio kids. Then I adopted and realized what a fool I had been. I mean I cannot imagine that I once thoughts that was even possible. Also when you adopt from foster care the love can be the fiercest most soul crushing love.”
@maria_e_russell

“..There is something special about birthing a baby yourself, but its not better, just different. Once we had created an attachment bond with each of our kids they really felt like our own, adopted or bio.”
@patilna_

” The relationship that I have with Shamilah, the first kiddo adopted, will always be different that the relationship with Judah, our first biological child. Shamilah comes from a past of brokenness and she that knows that, obviously, Im not her biological mom. And so her love for me is also different than Judah’s love for me. I think its a beautiful dynamic to have in the home.. I think it enriches the lives of all our kids to know they came from different places.”
@hannaliv also @okoarefuge

MY TAKE:

Love doesn’t divide, it multiplies and we love these babies because we are their parents, protectors and they were entrusted my God to be cared for by us. It’s okay for the fear to be there that you might possibly not love an adopted child as much but then let the fear go because the Lord is about to BLOW YOUR MIND when you give in to the fear.

Here are two other adoptive mamas that I love and am so lucky to have life to walk through life with.

@heartgrownbabylove AKA Nikki and her beautiful family of 6 who adopted Ria domestically 🙂

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And @shaunapoarch who just brought their two kiddos home from Nicaragua! They also have an AMAZING non-profit called Beauty Restored. @Beautyrestored you should check it out 🙂

11221779_10208233145929246_205399701789779361_n

If you would like more information on Adoption please email me at Casey@christianadoptionconsultants.com

With Lots of love,
Casey
@zarubalife

Related Posts

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  • Adoption Story: Tyler and CaseyAdoption Story: Tyler and Casey
  • Adoption Story: Nicole (and Noah!)Adoption Story: Nicole (and Noah!)
  • Congrats Steve and Kate!Congrats Steve and Kate!

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Instagram post 2195869752612957024_1343149943 "It's easy to think if you haven't been chosen that there's something 'wrong' with you. There are still age-old ideas that every expectant parent is looking for a specific 'type' of family, but it's simply not true. As unique as each birth mother is, her idea of the 'perfect adoptive family' is just as unique. I don't believe in the idea of a perfect adoptive family. But I've seen over and over again God make a match that is perfect for a birth and adoptive family."⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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For those of you who have walked through the adoption journey before can you relate? Can you relate to feeling like something was "wrong" with your family when you weren't being chosen? If so, how would you encourage other families who may be experiencing similar thoughts and feelings in their own journey? Comment below and tag a friend who needs a bit of encouragement today in the wait! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2195158276927472049_1343149943 "I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey. I know from personal experience that the adoption process can seem intimidating, but that’s where Christian Adoption Consultants comes in!"⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading about why families are choosing CAC to assist them in their adoption journey! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2192997480759883754_1343149943 "The hard thing about adoption is there's no due date. Before a match, no social worker can narrow down when your baby will be in your arms. You don't know to buy winter or summer 0-3 month clothes or even if they should be pink or blue. 
This is the point when I've had numerous families say adoption has done for their faith what no other experience has. This waiting stage has couples lean into Jesus in a way they've never experienced before. But what do you do when the busyness of adoption wanes and you're left waiting? " -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan @svansyckle ***to continue reading click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Instagram post 2192282875947435465_1343149943 "When an expectant mother goes into labor and is admitted into the hospital the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are, most often, notified to make their way to the hospital. Emotions are running high for everyone involved. The expectant mother is giving birth to a baby she's made an adoption plan for and the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are eagerly awaiting the birth of a baby they have prepared to bring home.⁣
At each step of an adoption plan, it is so important for the hopeful adoptive parent(s) to honor the expectant mother. But what does that look like in the hospital setting?"⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Meg @megcac ⁣
***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2191528544205817968_1343149943 "A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me” (Jodi Landers-Adoptive Mama). ⁣
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At CAC we acknowledge the complexities and juxtapositions of emotions that adoption brings for all parties of the adoption triad (adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents). Adoption can not be defined by one word, phrase or singular emotion. Adoption is beautiful, but it's also hard. Adoption can be filled with joy, but brokenness and loss are there as well. We think there is room for all of these big thoughts and emotions in this space. ⁣
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We would love to hear from all parties of the adoption triad. How do you navigate these contrasting thoughts and feelings in adoption?⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #birthmother #adoptee #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2190833150958333345_1343149943 We are sharing part two of Marc and Sarah's adoption story on the blog today! We pray their words are an encouragement to you wherever you are on your adoption journey. "...through adoption, our hearts and lives will be forever intertwined with our daughter's birth family. We are all family now. It will probably be messy and hard at times...But it will also be beautiful and good. So, so good. And so very worth it. This is our family. And that is how it came to be." ⁣⁣
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***to continue reading click on the “most recent” link in our bio***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣⁣
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Instagram post 2190072504960489705_1343149943 "If you’ve ever wanted a detailed, honest, and raw glimpse into the road to adoption; this is a beautiful one. Today Sarah is graciously sharing their family’s journey of becoming a family of five. It includes honest, heartfelt prayers, questions from little boys wanting to become big brothers, candid insight into the effects of the wait on marriage, and what it looks like to have a relationship with a birth family. Sarah unpacks the holy and hard spaces of adoption, the wonder and often anxiety-producing wait for a child, and the beauty of learning that God is the author of good stories…"⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣ @svansyckle ⁣
***click the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading this beautiful adoption story***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #nationaladoptionmonth #nationaladoptionawarenessmonth #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2188629411031733804_1343149943 Thank you for following along during National Adoption Awareness Month! We hope the resources we have provided over the  past 30 days have been helpful to you! ⁣
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We are wrapping up the month here in on our IG stories throughout the day with advice from our staff, but we have also included a summary that you can access in the “most recent” link section in our bio. We pray these words would be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #nationaladoptionmonth #nationaladoptionawarenessmonth #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
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