• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Looking for something?

Let´s get in touch

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Christian Adoption Consultants

Helping Couples on Their Adoption Journey

  • ABOUT
    • OUR FOUNDERS
    • OUR STATS
    • WHY HIRE A CONSULTANT?
  • SUPPORT TEAM
  • Consulting Services
  • Profile Design Services
  • Happy Clients
  • Blog
  • Contact Us

Knowing When To Say Yes in Adoption

April 17, 2018 By Susan VanSyckle

Knowing When To Say Yes in Adoption

One of the hardest issues many couples come face to face with in the adoption process is knowing when to say yes in adoption. This often comes up after the home study is complete, the profile is created, and the fundraising is happening.

In the beginning of the adoption process, the pathway is pretty clear. Hire a home study worker. Fill out these forms. Check those boxes. Get the fingerprints and the physicals and the baby items. Check, check, check.

But then a couple comes to a stage in the adoption process when they begin to review situations: an expectant mother who would like to make an adoption plan for their child. It often includes information like the gender of the baby, due date, and social and medical history of the birth family.

And it’s at this point that a hopeful adoptive parent decides if they want to present their profile. And when and if they do, that’s their 100% commitment to raise this child as their own if chosen.

This is also the point when it’s easy for hopeful adoptive parents to become incredibly anxious (read: freak out) about saying yes to the right situation.

How do you know when to present to a situation? How do you know if this is the baby God has for you? How do you know you’re not missing your baby?

Value of Wisdom

When deciding if you’re going to present to a certain situation, one of the first things you want to do is gather all of the information available. Ensure you have all of the significant information involved (social and medical history, birth father information, a break down of fees, etc.). Educate yourself on any medical or legal issues that might impact this match. During this step, it’s critical that you are working with trusted, ethical agencies/attorneys that not only are serving you well, but also provide expectant and birth parent care and counseling (both pre and post birth). An adoption consultant can help you weigh any possible risks involved and walk through each of these steps to help you decide if it’s a good fit for your family. It can be invaluable to have someone who is neutral help with this part in the process.
Myth of Control
It’s easy to think you have a tremendous amount of control in adoption. And in some ways that’s true. You decide when to begin the adoption process. You complete the paperwork and even check dozens of boxes pertaining to openness and medical history and preferences. You analyze a situation and educate yourself as much as possible. You decide to present. But you inevitably come to the point where you are left waiting on a situation to come through and ultimately, to be chosen.I’ve called control the lie of adoption. Because the truth is there’s very little control you can have in the process (like so much of life). Ultimately an expectant or birth mother chooses an adoptive family. You realize you simply can’t check all of the boxes for your preferences in life. After you’ve done your part, weighed all of this important information, and decided if you want to present, you realize that there’s only so much you can do.

Truth of God’s Sovereignty
Once you come to terms with the lack of control you feel in the process, your frustration can also swing the other way. You can think the control is all in someone else’s hands: the birth families choosing adoptive families, the adoption agencies serving you, or even the idea of waiting for fate or good karma. But God is ultimately in charge. He is writing a grand, redemptive story in history that he’s invited us to be a part of. To reflect his glory right here on Earth.God has woven the story of adoption throughout the Gospel and invites us to be a part of it as well. He’s known the details of your days (and your child’s) from the beginning of time. No one can thwart His plans or stand in their way. There’s tremendous freedom found in not just believing in God’s complete control, but truly resting there.

So practically, where does that leave you? When you are wrestling with the tension of balancing earthly wisdom and common sense with godly faith (which I believe are both gifts from God)? What does this actually look like?
Honestly, I don’t have the answer. And I think it looks different for each couple and individual desperate for God’s will in their lives. Some families have a “gut” about presenting to one situation or another. Some, after reading through the details, know pretty quickly that a certain situation just isn’t a good fit for them. Others describe a very clear direction one way or another from God. My experience is that most families generally don’t feel a tremendous amount of clarity or feel 100% in on most situations they see. But, in my work for a decade with hopeful adoptive parents, I have seen some families have incredible peace during the process of deciding when to present.
Wanna know their secret? They decide to walk through every open door that God opens for them and pray that he slams it shut if it’s not His will.

It’s that simple. Ultimate trust in the One who has all the control. Faith in the Author of good stories. Hope in the God who promises to do “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). A wholehearted “yes” on the table before God, with the courage to put it into action.

And can I be honest about something else? I don’t think there’s a perfect situation out there for you. Adoption is always born from brokenness and the perfect scenario is that a child is always meant to be with their birth family. But of course we live in a broken world where sometimes that’s not possible or best. We live in a world touched by infertility and substance use and unhealthy relationships and hundreds of other broken things. So the idea of “ideal” quickly goes out the window.

BUT. I do believe there’s a perfect situation for you. What I mean is that I believe God is sovereign over everything, and that includes putting families together. So while there’s no “ideal” or “perfect” scenario or situation, I strongly believe God has the perfect match for an adoptive family. That there is baby that fits perfectly and is divinely ordained to be placed with a specific family.

How do you find joy in the midst of waiting? How do you know when to say yes? How do you make sure it all works out in the end?

God will not let you miss your baby. You can rest in His perfect plan. Your job is simply to say yes to Him.

Related Posts

  • To the mama with no babyTo the mama with no baby
  • Just the two of usJust the two of us
  • CAC Update – New Fee Structure for 2018CAC Update – New Fee Structure for 2018
  • In Their Own Words: The Truth About Our Hurt

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Questions?

WE CAN HELP!

WE CAN HELP!

Contact us today for a FREE Adoption Information Packet or to schedule a phone consultation! We can answer your questions and create an adoption plan for you. Ready to take the next step?

Recent Posts

  • Why CAC?
  • What To Do While You Wait
  • Adoption At The Hospital
  • Adoption Story: Marc + Sarah (Part 2)
  • Adoption Story: Marc + Sarah (Part 1)
welcome

WHY HIRE US?

After 3,000 adoptions, we've learned a thing or two. Let us create a custom, individualized adoption plan for you.
LEARN MORE!

Footer

YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

You deserve the best! That’s why we’ve assembled an amazingly talented team that is highly qualified to support you on your adoption journey!

Did you know we are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world?

LET´S GET IN TOUCH

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
We'd love to hear from you!

info@christianadoptionconsultants.com

Office Hours: Monday-Friday 9-6 EST
Instagram post 2195869752612957024_1343149943 "It's easy to think if you haven't been chosen that there's something 'wrong' with you. There are still age-old ideas that every expectant parent is looking for a specific 'type' of family, but it's simply not true. As unique as each birth mother is, her idea of the 'perfect adoptive family' is just as unique. I don't believe in the idea of a perfect adoptive family. But I've seen over and over again God make a match that is perfect for a birth and adoptive family."⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
⁣
For those of you who have walked through the adoption journey before can you relate? Can you relate to feeling like something was "wrong" with your family when you weren't being chosen? If so, how would you encourage other families who may be experiencing similar thoughts and feelings in their own journey? Comment below and tag a friend who needs a bit of encouragement today in the wait! ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2195158276927472049_1343149943 "I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey. I know from personal experience that the adoption process can seem intimidating, but that’s where Christian Adoption Consultants comes in!"⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
⁣
Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading about why families are choosing CAC to assist them in their adoption journey! ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣ ⁣
⁣
⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2192997480759883754_1343149943 "The hard thing about adoption is there's no due date. Before a match, no social worker can narrow down when your baby will be in your arms. You don't know to buy winter or summer 0-3 month clothes or even if they should be pink or blue. 
This is the point when I've had numerous families say adoption has done for their faith what no other experience has. This waiting stage has couples lean into Jesus in a way they've never experienced before. But what do you do when the busyness of adoption wanes and you're left waiting? " -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan @svansyckle ***to continue reading click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
.
.
.
.
.

#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Instagram post 2192282875947435465_1343149943 "When an expectant mother goes into labor and is admitted into the hospital the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are, most often, notified to make their way to the hospital. Emotions are running high for everyone involved. The expectant mother is giving birth to a baby she's made an adoption plan for and the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are eagerly awaiting the birth of a baby they have prepared to bring home.⁣
At each step of an adoption plan, it is so important for the hopeful adoptive parent(s) to honor the expectant mother. But what does that look like in the hospital setting?"⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Meg @megcac ⁣
***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading***⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2191528544205817968_1343149943 "A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me” (Jodi Landers-Adoptive Mama). ⁣
⁣
At CAC we acknowledge the complexities and juxtapositions of emotions that adoption brings for all parties of the adoption triad (adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents). Adoption can not be defined by one word, phrase or singular emotion. Adoption is beautiful, but it's also hard. Adoption can be filled with joy, but brokenness and loss are there as well. We think there is room for all of these big thoughts and emotions in this space. ⁣
⁣
We would love to hear from all parties of the adoption triad. How do you navigate these contrasting thoughts and feelings in adoption?⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #birthmother #adoptee #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2190833150958333345_1343149943 We are sharing part two of Marc and Sarah's adoption story on the blog today! We pray their words are an encouragement to you wherever you are on your adoption journey. "...through adoption, our hearts and lives will be forever intertwined with our daughter's birth family. We are all family now. It will probably be messy and hard at times...But it will also be beautiful and good. So, so good. And so very worth it. This is our family. And that is how it came to be." ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
***to continue reading click on the “most recent” link in our bio***⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
.⁣⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Instagram post 2190072504960489705_1343149943 "If you’ve ever wanted a detailed, honest, and raw glimpse into the road to adoption; this is a beautiful one. Today Sarah is graciously sharing their family’s journey of becoming a family of five. It includes honest, heartfelt prayers, questions from little boys wanting to become big brothers, candid insight into the effects of the wait on marriage, and what it looks like to have a relationship with a birth family. Sarah unpacks the holy and hard spaces of adoption, the wonder and often anxiety-producing wait for a child, and the beauty of learning that God is the author of good stories…"⁣
⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣ @svansyckle ⁣
***click the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading this beautiful adoption story***⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #nationaladoptionmonth #nationaladoptionawarenessmonth #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2188629411031733804_1343149943 Thank you for following along during National Adoption Awareness Month! We hope the resources we have provided over the  past 30 days have been helpful to you! ⁣
⁣
We are wrapping up the month here in on our IG stories throughout the day with advice from our staff, but we have also included a summary that you can access in the “most recent” link section in our bio. We pray these words would be an encouragement to you wherever you are in your journey! ⁣
⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #nationaladoptionmonth #nationaladoptionawarenessmonth #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Follow on Instagram
  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions

Copyright © 2019 · Powered by PersistSEO DMCA.com Protection Status