Although there are many stereotypes about birth mothers, every situation is unique. Not every birth mother is a drug user who doesn’t know who the birth father is. Not every birth mother is a teenage girl. And I’ve never met a birth mother who doesn’t care about her child and their life. She is a mother who has run into a hard season to parent. She is strong and brave and selfless.
This isn’t something she’s come to lightly. There have been sleepless nights, body-wracking sobs, and maybe even fights with a boyfriend or family to choose life for her little one. There have been endless conversations with well-meaning friends and even strangers trying to talk her out of “giving her baby away.” While other pregnant mamas are creating labor and delivery plans, decorating a nursery, and counting the days till they meet their baby, she is counting the days till she has to say goodbye.
Chances are, she’s looked at several profiles of families to parent her child. She’s labored over her decision to make an adoption plan and looked for hours at families. She’s thought through the kind of life she wants her baby to have. She’s noted your kind smile, the way your husband describes you on paper, and the way you made her feel when you first met. And now, after choosing you, she has chosen to share her title of mother.
It’s because of this amazing, selfless love, that she has chosen adoption. And this love is the same as all mothers. The kind that dreams dreams for our children, longs to protect them, and prays for all they will become. Her love is fierce, often protecting her child from the kind of life she doesn’t want for them and sacrificing much in hopes they will be cared for in ways she can’t offer at this time in her life.
A birth mother fears in her quiet moments that she will be forgotten. That as your child’s first mother she won’t be spoken of at all in your home. In the end, she wants her child to know all of the above as well. She wants her child to know they were wanted. They were loved. And they are loved and thought of and prayed for every day, even years down the road.