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ADOPTION STORY: ETHAN AND DANIELLE

December 13, 2017 By Jonnilyn Spinks

ADOPTION STORY: ETHAN AND DANIELLE

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

A few weeks ago, I sat on my sofa with Danielle and her husband Ethan.  Their precious baby girl in their arms and in the background you could hear our girls giggling while they played dress up together.  A few months earlier, we were all strangers.  Now friends breaking bread around my kitchen table and swooning over their precious baby girl.  Adoption brought our families together, and it was genuinely such a pleasure to work with them.  As the months passed, I would grow to love their resilient, optimistic spirits and open hearts for whatever God had planned for them.  It was such a treat me meet them in person when their daughter was born at a hospital nearby.

God had a beautiful redemption story He was writing for their family.  Danielle shares all the details below…

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I saw a friend of mine go through her adoption journey during the first year of my struggle with secondary infertility. Something in my heart leapt every single time I saw her post on social media or listened to her talk openly about her story. I tucked that feeling away and trudged on through our secondary infertility journey.

My husband and I conceived our now four year old daughter after our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. We wrote the miscarriage off as a fluke and didn’t consider once that this could have been an indication of any fertility issues. I carried our daughter to a whopping 42 weeks without one issue and our hearts were so full of joy. It was when she was about a year old my husband and I considered the possibility of adding a second child to our family. We thought surely we would become pregnant instantly as we had with our first two pregnancies. The first month, I did not get the positive test I had hoped for. I was so upset. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I just had my dates off. Surely next month. After 3, 6, 9, even 12 months went by, I knew something was wrong. My doctor was hesitant to diagnose my then 23 year old self with any kind of fertility problem and told us to keep trying. By the time we had tried nearly 18 months, my heart was broken. I walked around feeling like a shell of who I really was. My heart ached so desperately for another child. Didn’t God see me? Didn’t He know the desire of my heart? I often shook my fist at him thinking I knew best and was angered that my plan didn’t seem to be His plan. 

We welcomed the new year in 2017 with crushed spirits. I told my husband over dinner one evening that I simply couldn’t bear another month of trying to conceive. He agreed that this had stolen our joy for too long. We had always chatted briefly about adoption and certainly had huge hearts for adoption throughout our lives, however, it was always a “Plan B” option. If we couldn’t give birth to biological children, maybe we would adopt. But that night – my husband and I began unpacking that we both truly felt the Lord calling us to adoption over pursuing any fertility treatments. It was really amazing at that night at dinner how the two of us just felt peace wash over us and felt our hearts had aligned without either one of us knowing it about adoption.
I reached out to my friend I mentioned earlier who I had just witnessed her adoption journey and she told us about CAC. We scoped out local adoption agencies and a variety of other agencies and consulting groups across the US. None of them gave us a special feeling, and, sadly, the local agencies we visited even left us feeling defeated. I remember leaving one agency in particular doubting if we were even called to adopt. It was days after that meeting that we reached out to CAC by email and Leah replied back to us. We had a call with her and just felt immediately connected to her. Her passion for adoption and love for her clients showed instantly and we just knew we wanted to take our journey alongside her! We signed on in January 2017 and were home study approved on April 1st 2017.

After becoming home study approved, we had so many emotions knowing a situation could come at any time. We got one the day after signing on and I remember thinking “THIS IS IT!” I got my hopes up way too high and that first “no” was crushing. Leah provided such kind and gentle support during this time and reminded us about guarding our hearts in this process and how this would all make sense when our baby was in our arms. It was her understanding and compassion that made those “no’s” so much easier. Over those next few months, we saw tons of situations – sometimes even 2-3 a week. We kept thinking something would happen quickly. However, after hearing dozens of “no’s” we became a little discouraged by the end of summer. It was September 2017 and I remember crying out to the Lord how desperately I wanted this baby home for the holidays. The holidays were always a difficult time as I would unpack our daughter’s old Halloween costumes, the tiny stocking we bought for our future baby, and things of that sort. We had hoped for the last two years that our year would end with a baby in our home to use those things. I feared 2017 would be another year we would end with broken hearts and empty arms. It was in my desperation that I felt the Lord press into my soul a reminder that he is a FAITHFUL God. Over and over again, I felt Him reminding me that He was not just faithful if He provided us a baby. He was faithful through every single moment of my life – every single joy and every single sorrow. He was faithful through our infertility and through our adoption wait. His faithfulness was NOT conditional on us receiving another child into our home or not. That really sat with me and I stirred over it often; reminding myself of how good He had been to me. That made the wait easier and really helped to renew my spirit.

October 1st we hit our 6 month mark of waiting and honestly, we just took time to enjoy the fall. We spent our weekends doing fun activities as a family and enjoyed celebrating my husband and sister’s birthdays. It was actually the day before my sister’s birthday we received a situation of a baby that had been due the week prior (on my husband’s birthday!) that would be born likely over the upcoming weekend. We put our “yes” on the table and continued on with the weekend. We had so much fun going to a birthday dinner for my sister and crossing a few things off our fall bucket list. We didn’t even have a clue what was about to happen to our lives!

We got the call on Monday that a baby girl had been born and that her birth mother would be reviewing profile books that afternoon. We went about our day as usual – grocery shopping, cleaning the house, and spending a day off school with my daughter. We sat down to watch a movie that afternoon and my phone rang. I froze. Was this THE CALL?! Sure enough – it was an attorney from one of CAC’s agencies letting us know we had been chosen to parent a beautiful 2 day old baby girl and we could head to Florida right away to get her! My husband and I – in a whirlwind – called our family, booked flights, packed like crazy, and hopped on the first available flight the next morning at 5am. We met our daughter, who we named Arden Mae, on Tuesday, October 24th and our whole process suddenly made sense. We looked down at her and tears just fell as we processed that she was what God had for us all along. All those days of doubt – anger – frustration – confusion – fear …. He knew EXACTLY what He was doing. We truly believe that our “Plan B” was God’s “Plan A” for our lives all along – we just had to take a step out in faith and trust Him.

Now that we are on the other side of the “valley” so to speak – we can see everything that God was doing behind the scenes. We make sense of our infertility, which we know without a doubt God used in our lives to show us that adoption was what He had in store for us. We make sense of all the painful “no’s”, which we know now were babies that were meant for other families and that our sweet Arden was always meant for us. Every day that we spent heartbroken we now know were days God drew us closer to Him and made us depend on Him for strength. And now, we shout from the “mountain top” His faithfulness to us for giving us our daughter – who we waited patiently for for so very long.

To anyone about to embark on their adoption journey, my biggest piece of advice is to TRUST. Trust the Lord. Trust the process. Trust your heart when you review each situation. And wholeheartedly believe that the Lord is directing your every step. With Him, there are no mistakes – there is no missing your baby – there is no decision to be made, for He has already made a way and written this baby into your family long ago. When you see the face of that sweet baby, you will know this to be true. Hold on to His promises and trust Him, for it is only in that that you will experience peace on this crazy journey!

Congratulations, Ethan, Danielle, and big sis Emersyn!  I’m grateful God crossed our paths and I couldn’t be happier for your sweet family!

Considering adoption? I’d love to chat with you more about working with CAC! Email me at Leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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About Jonnilyn Spinks

Jonnilyn has over 5 years agency experience including all aspects of birth/adoptive family care and case management. She has such a strong passion for adoption, as she is an adopted child herself so she has a very unique perspective. Jonnilyn has had the joy of making a very personal part of her life a profession. She attended the State College of Florida and comes from an extensive background in social services. Ultimately, Jonnilyn finds it such an honor and a calling to walk alongside of families in their adoption journey.

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Instagram post 2198046518316239025_1343149943 "I spoke to Katie and Ryan for the very first time at the end of November in 2017. They were very warm, friendly and extremely excited about starting the adoption process! They signed on with me at CAC just a few days after our initial call! As Katie will share with you tonight, the journey to their daughter, Nicklyn, wasn’t easy. In addition to the ups and downs that come with the adoption process, they also moved across the country about 7 months after beginning their journey. There were times when they wondered if they were on the right path and if this journey is what the Lord intended for them. But they continued praying, trusting God, and moving forward one step at a time. I’m honored to share their story with you and I’m confident it will be an encouragement to your family!" -CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly  @kellybethtodd ***to continue reading this beautiful adoption story click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionadvice #bettertogether #family #adoptionconsultants #hopingtoadopt #adoptioncommunity #adoptionstories #adoptions 
http://www.christianadoptionconsultants.com/?p=5836
Instagram post 2197315798971146704_1343149943 Timothy and Katie are a CAC family who adopted in 2018 with the help of Adoption Consultant Gretchen. We asked if they had any encouragement to share with families who are currently in the wait and this is what they had to say:⁣
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"Our advice is to remember that in the waiting, the heartbreak and endless paperwork, that God is faithful.  He has a unique story written for your family that may take a while to unfold. Through our long adoption journey, our faith was tested many times yet we continued to believe in His faithfulness.  During many dark days, we clung to Him and each other in prayer.  God knew all along how long the process would take and we just needed to trust that it would work out eventually.  He's faithful!" ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories  #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2196606928527203244_1343149943 "Brian and Sara were referred to us by one of our amazing families, Brandon & Kathryn. They contacted us in mid-March 2019 and signed on with me at Christian Adoption Consultants in early April.  They had previously been licensed through their state’s foster/adoptive care system. They pursued domestic adoption, and God opened a door for them to adopt a precious baby boy from their home state of Iowa three months after their initial contact with me. We pray their story is an encouragement to you wherever you are on your journey!"⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultants Dawn & Jason @dawnflatnesswright @jasondalewright⁣
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***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading this adoption story***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent  #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2195869752612957024_1343149943 "It's easy to think if you haven't been chosen that there's something 'wrong' with you. There are still age-old ideas that every expectant parent is looking for a specific 'type' of family, but it's simply not true. As unique as each birth mother is, her idea of the 'perfect adoptive family' is just as unique. I don't believe in the idea of a perfect adoptive family. But I've seen over and over again God make a match that is perfect for a birth and adoptive family."⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultant Susan⁣
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For those of you who have walked through the adoption journey before can you relate? Can you relate to feeling like something was "wrong" with your family when you weren't being chosen? If so, how would you encourage other families who may be experiencing similar thoughts and feelings in their own journey? Comment below and tag a friend who needs a bit of encouragement today in the wait! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation ⁣
Instagram post 2195158276927472049_1343149943 "I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey. I know from personal experience that the adoption process can seem intimidating, but that’s where Christian Adoption Consultants comes in!"⁣
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-CAC Adoption Consultant Kelly @kellybethtodd⁣
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Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading about why families are choosing CAC to assist them in their adoption journey! ⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
Instagram post 2192997480759883754_1343149943 "The hard thing about adoption is there's no due date. Before a match, no social worker can narrow down when your baby will be in your arms. You don't know to buy winter or summer 0-3 month clothes or even if they should be pink or blue. 
This is the point when I've had numerous families say adoption has done for their faith what no other experience has. This waiting stage has couples lean into Jesus in a way they've never experienced before. But what do you do when the busyness of adoption wanes and you're left waiting? " -CAC Adoption Consultant Susan @svansyckle ***to continue reading click on the "most recent" link in our bio*** .
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove  #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption
Instagram post 2192282875947435465_1343149943 "When an expectant mother goes into labor and is admitted into the hospital the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are, most often, notified to make their way to the hospital. Emotions are running high for everyone involved. The expectant mother is giving birth to a baby she's made an adoption plan for and the hopeful adoptive parent(s) are eagerly awaiting the birth of a baby they have prepared to bring home.⁣
At each step of an adoption plan, it is so important for the hopeful adoptive parent(s) to honor the expectant mother. But what does that look like in the hospital setting?"⁣
-CAC Adoption Consultant Meg @megcac ⁣
***Click on the "most recent" link in our bio to continue reading***⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #adoptiveparent #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation
Instagram post 2191528544205817968_1343149943 "A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me” (Jodi Landers-Adoptive Mama). ⁣
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At CAC we acknowledge the complexities and juxtapositions of emotions that adoption brings for all parties of the adoption triad (adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents). Adoption can not be defined by one word, phrase or singular emotion. Adoption is beautiful, but it's also hard. Adoption can be filled with joy, but brokenness and loss are there as well. We think there is room for all of these big thoughts and emotions in this space. ⁣
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We would love to hear from all parties of the adoption triad. How do you navigate these contrasting thoughts and feelings in adoption?⁣
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#CACadoption #christianadoptionconsultants #lovemakesafamily #adoptionbuiltus #domesticadoption #adoption  #adoptionjourney #adoptionislove #adoptionstory #adoptionconsultant #adoptionstories #adoptionislove #birthmother #adoptee #adoptiveparent #adoptiontriad #bettertogether #adoptioncommunity #domesticinfantadoption #adoptionishard #adoptioneducation #openadoption ⁣
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