I knew the moment I first talked with Erik and Sarah that they had huge hearts. Their love for each other and their son was so evident. And they were developing a love for adoption. From the very beginning, they knew they didn’t just want to open their arms and hearts to a baby. They wanted to love an expectant and birth family as well. Erik and Sarah didn’t know all this would mean for them as they went through their adoption journey. It would include heartbreak and hardship. But it would also include hope and an unexpected and beautiful relationship with a couple that they treasure. Sarah graciously shares their journey to parenthood and the family they couldn’t have known they would find on the other side.
We named her Victoria Alair. Victoria is after her birth mother. Her middle name is my middle name. I intended to name her Alair Victoria, but it just didn’t feel right, her birth mother came before me, her name should reflect such.
Post-birth was bitter sweet. We now felt like her birth parents were our friends. We were in one room crazy happy. They were in another experiencing deep pain. Paperwork was signed in the hospital at the 72 hour mark. We then checked into a hotel with baby Victoria to wait out ICPC. Victoria’s birth parents visited us in our hotel every night. I know it was not easy for them to show up, to see us with their baby, but they did it because they really wanted to see her and connect with her. If you have not been in this spot yet, please do not let our situation scare you away from adoption. It was only because of these two particular people that it was okay with us. Had it been under different circumstances, we would not have been as open or willing to start the openness immediately.
Now we have this precious bundle of joy between the four of us. We have a family consisting of birth parents and an adopted child that we never imagined in our wildest dreams. However, we also have a daughter for which we have big hopes and dreams and birth parents who we have to thank for all of it. Daily my husband says we are blessed. I returned to Texas with baby Victoria when she was three months old for a quick three day visit. I know it was not easy for them, the wounds still so raw, but they wanted to see her and I wanted them to see her. They returned the favor when she was six months old by flying to Virginia for a four day stay with us during Christmas. We plan to see them again in Texas around her first birthday.
There is definitely a lot of unknowns between now and when baby Victoria is all grown up, but I am confident we will all just try and do the best we can for her, because we all love her.