Once we were home study approved, Susan immediately started presenting us with expectant mom profiles. It was so very exciting to get the ball rolling and to see the potential moms/families that we could match with! After years of infertility, it was so hopeful and amazing to feel this close to our baby.
I would say this “matching” process came with lots of highs and lows. We would get so invested in the expectant mom we wanted to present to and get so hopeful and excited that she would feel the same way and “pick us” back. When you get a “no,” you can’t help but feel disappointed, sad, and even rejected. After infertility and experiencing 10 miscarriages, we were sick and tired of feeling that way. We knew going into it that we would get no’s and we tried to prepare ourselves for that, but it was still hard to fight those extreme feelings of rejection and sadness. It’s so hard to see it at the time, but those “no’s” are just God’s way of saying “this is not your baby, your baby will come.” It’s so hard to let go of control, but that’s exactly what you have to do in this process; let go of trying to control everything and let God lead you through it. God already knew the exact mom we would match with and He would make sure we wouldn’t miss her!
We actually saw our daughter’s birth mom’s information but initially chose not to present to her. We were concerned we would have a failed adoption because of some specific details and we honestly didn’t really feel “drawn” to her like some others we presented to. So we passed! A few weeks later, this same situation popped up again, just after we received another “no.” It turns out she didn’t connect with any of the profiles she had received and she wanted to see more families. I showed her information to my husband again and said, “Should we present to her? Why not? If it’s not meant to be, she will say no.” So we offered our profile, and, to our amazement, she chose us! We couldn’t believe it! We matched with C in August of 2018, less than two months after our home study was ready. We are so incredibly thankful that she is who we matched with; words can’t even describe the feeling. Since matching, we developed an amazing relationship with the expectant mom, C, birth dad, and their three year old son. We truly love and deeply care for them; they are now a part of our family! They constantly told us they couldn’t be any happier that S was going to be our child to raise. After matching with C, all our previous “no’s” made total sense and I was actually so glad we got them! It felt so right with C!